


Home for the Holidays: Bonus "CIWYW" Story (Trans!Steve and Pan!Bucky Modern AU)

by loveforpreserumsteve



Series: Home [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Fluff, M/M, Modern Bucky Barnes, Mutual Pining, OTP Feels, Pan Bucky Barnes, Trans Steve Rogers, holiday fun, skinny!Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 21,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21815149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveforpreserumsteve/pseuds/loveforpreserumsteve
Summary: "The front door opened and Meatloaf jumped off Steve's lap as she scurried off for his closet while Steve quickly climbed off his bed.  His socked feet slipping on the hardwood floor, but that didn't deter him one bit.  Hearing the familiar and deeply missed voices as they greeted Sarah and Joseph.  Just as Steve predicted, everyone was getting along swimmingly.  Eddie's giggles matched Tibby's and Steve's heart soared as high as the corner of his lips did as they pulled up into a smile that crinkled all the way up to his blue eyes.When Steve's gaze landed on Bucky, his grin grew even more than he thought it could.  Even painfully so.  But Steve couldn't stop smiling even if he wanted to.  Steve blamed Bucky.  How was he expected to keep his emotions in check when Bucky was looking at him like that."-Modern Stucky AU-Language and other mature content***I don't own Marvel or the characters of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, nor any of the other Marvel characters
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Home [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1495871
Comments: 20
Kudos: 44





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> To keep up-to-date with everything that's going on in my life, my fics, and to see cute pictures of my pets, be sure to follow me on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/loveforpreserumsteve/)
> 
> I've also self-published [Call It What You Want](https://www.amazon.com/Call-What-Want-Minnie-Nicole/dp/1986446255/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=call+it+what+you+want+minnie+nicole&qid=1601172728&sr=8-1)
> 
> And if you would like some to purchase some merch based off of loveforpreserumsteve fanfics and Minnie Nicole Books, you can get them at [The Fanfic Was Better](https://teespring.com/stores/thefanficwasbetter)
> 
> Much love and appreciation  
> Minnie ❤❤❤


	2. One

**One:**

"How does this look?" Sarah entered Steve's room and stopped at the front of Steve's bed. Hands smoothing down the large soft maroon red sweater and velvet black leggings.

Setting his phone down on the bed beside him while petting the sleeping mama cat, Meatloaf, Steve looked over his mom. Shrugging, Steve appeased, "You look fine."

"Fine?" Sarah deadpanned, gazing blankly at Steve. He nodded and Sarah shook her head. Looking heavenwards as she took in a breath to steady herself before explaining, "This is the first time that we're all meeting in person rather than on a skype call, and I want to make a good impression."

"Mom," Steve shifted -- annoying Meatloaf in the process, but not caring -- as he explained, "They've just spent hours on a plane, and I can guarantee that they're going to look a lot worse. Even if you were wearing those ratty pajamas that dad tries to throw out every laundry day before you catch him."

A smile tugged at Sarah's lips and she crossed the room to leave. Sweetly petting Meatloaf before leaning over and pressing a sweet kiss to Steve's forehead. Attempting to fix his floppy blond hair, but ultimately messing it up, Sarah assured, "Thanks, sweetie."

"Any time," Steve smiled up at his mom, noting how the worry lines etched into her face had smoothed. Sure, Steve knew that Sarah was stressing the way that she normally did when guests would be joining them. But Steve was also certain that Winifred and Darlene would get along with Sarah like a lit match and kerosene.

Steve's stomach fluttered at the thought. Since touching down in New York, he had gone a total of three hours before messaging Bucky. It had given him enough time to weepily hold the cherished bowl, unpack, and realize just how much he thoroughly missed the brunet. Wishing that he could just walk down the hallway and find him in the living room. Realizing that he had grown too attached to, not only Bucky, but the whole Barnes clan.

Laying there in his bed reading some story that should've been published in an actual book rather than just on a platform that typically held terrible fanfiction by the truckload, Meatloaf's purrs calmed Steve's nerves. Well, calmed them about as much as Steve calmed Sarah's just a moment prior. So, Steve tried to distract himself the best that he could. With the story, and with thoughts of Bucky.

Steve couldn't remember who suggested it first, but somehow they started making plans for the holidays. There were talks about the Rogers heading down to Arkansas, but Natasha wanted to see her family too, and knew that, thanks to her dad and his fiancée breaking up, there was no way that she'd be allowed to be gone over the winter break.

Just then, Steve's phone vibrated. New message.

Steve's heart stuttered and the butterflies in his stomach started fluttering. Especially once the commotion from downstairs started up.

The front door opened and Meatloaf jumped off Steve's lap as she scurried off for his closet while Steve quickly climbed off his bed. His socked feet slipping on the hardwood floor, but that didn't deter him one bit. Hearing the familiar and deeply missed voices as they greeted Sarah and Joseph. Just as Steve predicted, everyone was getting along swimmingly. Eddie's giggles matched Tibby's and Steve's heart soared as high as the corner of his lips did as they pulled up into a smile that crinkled all the way up to his blue eyes.

When Steve's gaze landed on Bucky, his grin grew even more than he thought it could. Even painfully so. But Steve couldn't stop smiling even if he wanted to. Steve blamed Bucky. How was he expected to keep his emotions in check when Bucky was looking at him like _that_.

Of course, Steve wasn't the only one to notice.

It was like chain mail. Joseph noticed first, who whispered something to Sarah. As Sarah looked over, a look of adoration crossed her face and, like the sap that she was, she covered her mouth with her hand. Which then clued Winifred and Darlene in. While the parents whispered amongst each other, watching the boys like hawks, Becca overheard and immediately looked towards the staircase where, sure enough, Steve was standing like a dork. And since Becca knew, she elbowed Mandy, who, in turn, nudged Sam.

Clapping a companionable hand on his brother's shoulder, Sam grinned up at Steve and cheerfully greeted, "Steve, get your cute butt down here and give us all hugs before I go up there and carry you down!"

In his embarrassment, Bucky covered his face with his still mittened-hand and shook his head at the ground. Yet, even in his discomfort, the smile didn't slip from his face, causing Steve's heart to melt all the more.

Like a spell had been broken, Steve climbed the rest of the stairs down and accepted Sam's hug first, since Sam was the one who made the first move. Steve had almost forgotten how great of a hugger Sam was. One of those all-encompassing hugs that made Steve feel truly cared about. A way that only a few people had ever been able to.

"I missed ya, man," Sam admitted as he pulled back from the hug to look Steve over. Quirking a brow, Sam complimented, "Have you gotten taller?"

"Ha," Steve sarcastically laughed and playfully rolled his eyes, "I can honestly say that I didn't miss you at all."

"Bruh," Sam feigned hurt as he touched his chest.

"Try living with him," Bucky interjected, regaining Steve's attention.

"Ouch," Sam scoffed. Shaking his head, he pointed accusingly at Bucky and Steve, "This is the season of love and you two are proving the exact opposite."

Steve pressed his lips together to stop himself from laughing, but once he saw that Bucky was doing the same, he couldn't stop the jovial giggles. Which only spurred Bucky's laughter too. And even that was a chain until everyone crowding in the foyer was laughing.

"We really have missed you, dear," Winifred confirmed with an affection grin that brought tears to Sarah's eyes.

Sarah knew just as much as anyone else how difficult and hard the world could be, so when she got emotional at kindness, she really got emotional. While Steve hugged Mandy and Becca, he caught Sarah's eye and simply quirked his brow. Sure, they weren't the only people they had anymore, but they still understood each other better than a lot.

In silent reply, Sarah simply waved off Steve's concern before encouraging their house guests, "Well, c'mon in. How's hot chocolate sound? I'm sure you're simply freezing!"

"Hot chocolate?" Sam questioned, intrigued as he slipped out of his coat.

And finally, Steve and Bucky were left alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story that Steve is reading is called [Amica Mea](https://www.wattpad.com/story/164730010-amica-mea-dean-manns) by [AshDeanManns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashdeanmanns) ([wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/user/ashdeanmanns)). He's such a talented writer and artist and I highly recommend reading it!


	3. Two

**Two:**

"Is it just me," Bucky started, his low, soft voice both calming and exciting Steve as they were the only ones left. Perhaps it was the way Bucky leaned in close, so just Steve could hear him, even though everyone else had migrated towards the kitchen. "Or was this a terrible --"

"-- catastrophic --" Steve added, agreeing.

"-- Mistake?" Bucky teased, bashfully averting his gaze to his hands.

Although Steve had spent many nights imagining how this very moment would go -- with Steve jumping into Bucky's arms, kissing him silly -- he couldn't deny how much he adored how even after all their skype calls and texts, that Bucky was still that shy guy he met over the summer. And Steve wouldn't trade this actual reunion for any one of his dreams.

Putting his coat on a hanger and placing it in the closet beneath the stairs with the rest of his family's winter gear, Bucky looked around. Paintings and crayon drawings from both Steve and Eddie hung on the walls along with Sarah's favorite family photos. Steve wondered what his house looked like through Bucky's eyes. Sure, it wasn't as vibrant as the Barnes' residence, but it was nice. It was home.

Bucky paused, looking into the living room. Opening and closing his mouth a few times, he seemed to want to say something, but not know how. In his silence, Steve grew nervous and he worried his lower lip with his teeth, all the while a slow grin stretched across Bucky's face.

"What?" Steve questioned, unsure of what Bucky was looking at.

"Is that," Bucky turned his gaze from the object of his interest, to Steve. That grin stayed on Bucky's face even though he seemed more confused, "Why do you have a menorah and a kinara?"

"Oh," Steve sighed in relief. Glancing at the fireplace where a menorah resided on one side and a kinara on the other, he explained, "Mom didn't want you and your family to feel left out since you don't celebrate Christmas."

Bucky nodded and looked down at his feet again as he bit back his grin. Pointing at Steve, Bucky conceded, "It all makes sense now."

Brows furrowing, Steve asked, "What does?"

"Why you're so nice," Bucky answered, affectionately gazing at Steve, as they stood there in the hallway. Playfully, Steve rolled his eyes and childishly stuck his tongue out at Bucky, only returning a fond laugh in reply. Bucky leaned against the wall and quietly confessed, "I really missed you."

Steve made his move then. Wrapping his arms around Bucky's torso, Steve nuzzled his face into Bucky's chest. Pressing his ear against the spot where he could hear Bucky's heart beating through his soft blue sweater, and once Bucky wrapped his arms around him too, Steve felt like he could finally breathe.

Smiling, Steve tilted his head up so he could look at Bucky. Absolutely beaming when Bucky smiled at him too. For a moment, it felt more than what it was. Technically they were still in the getting-to-know-you phase, even though Steve felt like he knew Bucky and that Bucky knew him.

Slowly, Bucky started leaning in. Clearly giving Steve the time to consent before he whispered, "Can I kiss you?"

Just like that, Steve was transported back to Arkansas. Back to a chilly night of a hot day. Back to an innocent game of hide and seek. Hiding in an old storage shed. Being wrapped up in Bucky's soft hoodie, and then being wrapped up in the boy, himself.

Instead of vocally answering, Steve pushed up on his tiptoes and pressed his lips to Bucky's. Just like their first kiss, the softness to Bucky's lips shocked and comforted Steve. Reminded Steve of sunlight warming his skin. Of drawing goats and gardens instead of the boy who let his cousin paint his toenails. Of waking up early and watching monster movies. Of someone making him his coffee just the way he liked it. And although Steve had been home for months now, this kiss solidified that his home was also miles away.

The kiss, soft and loving, caused Steve to melt into Bucky. But not nearly as much as when Bucky slid his hand around the back of Steve's head and tangled his fingers in Steve's blond hair. Warming Steve straight to his core the way that only Bucky had ever done.

"Looks like someone found the mistletoe," Mandy teased and Becca snorted.

Breaking the moment entirely, Bucky and Steve pulled away from each other. Around Bucky's frame, Steve's suspicions were confirmed that, yes, their families were watching them. When they realized Steve caught them, they all comically looked in different directions in their attempts to seem nonchalant. Well, everyone except for Sam who smirked around a mouthful of gingerbread cookie while he held a snowman mug full of hot cocoa.

Blushing, Steve buried his face in Bucky's chest again and allowed himself one more hug before pulling away entirely. Flustered, Bucky tugged at his sweater while trying his damndest to not look at Steve, but still failing. Not that Steve really minded much. All it did was cause his blush to spread up to the tips of his ears.

"Huh," Bucky mused as he turned his gaze upward, a smirk playing at his lips, "How about that."

Of course, Steve already knew what he'd find. Hanging above the archway to the living room was a small bushel of faux mistletoe. Sure, Steve knew that it was there. Sarah and Joseph were the extra festive type, so there were artificial mistletoe above doorways and garlands wrapped around banisters. Not to mention that there were a total of four fully decorated artificial trees in the house.

A large grin tugged at Steve's lips as he teased, "I see you've discovered my master plan."

"And what plan is that?" Bucky playfully questioned.

"To kiss you as much as I can this week," Steve manically giggled and exaggeratedly wiggled his eyebrows, all to get a full belly laugh out of Bucky.

Which was precisely what Steve wanted. Bucky was everything that Steve wanted. How was he ever going to say goodbye now?


	4. Three

**Three:**

Holding the uniquely marked black and white kitten, Bucky nuzzled his face against the kitten's and affectionately scratched him between his ears. Clearly pleased with the pet even though Bucky grumbled, "I can't believe you named him, 'Cat James.'"

"Fair is fair," Steve smiled, leaning over to softly pet the kitten who had taken to Steve the moment he returned home, and who had slept in his bed every night since.

"Okay," Bucky sarcastically agreed while playfully rolling his eyes. Losing his attitude once Cat James started licking at his nose, giving him affection. "Yup, it's official, I love him."

 _I love you_ , is immediately what Steve thought. Those words had been on the tip of Steve's tongue for months now. He didn't know how many times he had wanted to say it over skype. Or type it out in a message, only to erase it before he could send it. Nearly having a heart attack the one time that he thought he had sent it accidentally.

Steve wanted to say it though. Desperately so. He loved Bucky, he was sure of it. And sometimes, Steve was convinced that Bucky might love him too. Only, Bucky hadn't said it yet, and Steve didn't want to scare Bucky off.

"I think he likes you too," Steve confirmed resting his head on Bucky's shoulder as they sat on the floor with their siblings and the other three kittens.

"This is Tater-tot, and this is Peaches," Eddie introduced the two orange kittens, handing them to Becca and Mandy. As he introduced his favorite kitten out of the bunch, the gray striped one, he handed her to Tibby, "This is Macaroni."

Sam reached around Tibby in his lap to scratch Macaroni between her ears, and glanced over his shoulder to his moms to ask, "Can we get a cat?"

"Yeah! Can we?!" Tibby perked, holding the kitten even closer to her frame.

"Oh, honey," Winifred started, clearly trying to let her daughter down gently, all the while shooting daggers at her son.

Beside her, Sarah nonchalantly reasoned with Tibby, "You don't want to split the family up, sweetie. It'd be like us asking to keep you here instead of sending you back home with your family."

Tibby pouted and mournfully agreed, "I guess."

"What if we traded Bucky for one of 'em?" Sam teased with a shit-eating grin, tapping his socked foot against Bucky's leg.

"As long as it's not Macaroni!" Eddie loudly added, looking as though he might just tear the kitten right out of Tibby's grasp in order to keep his favorite kitten with him.

"It's okay, sweetie," Winifred soothed, reaching out like she was about to comfort Eddie the way she comforted her own children, but decided not to. Instead, she joked, "We like Bucky too much to trade him."

"Well, that's a relief," Bucky deadpanned, catching Steve's gaze and playfully rolling his eyes.

So, Steve decided to be the little shit that his usernames promised and mocked, "Who says that _we_ like you enough to trade for ya?"

Playfully narrowing his eyes, Bucky falsely threatened, "I can leave, ya know."

"Nah," Sam piped in and exposed his brother's thinly veiled lies, "You'd miss Steve too much because _you_ actually do like Steve that much. You'd probably even trade Goat Steve to get Steve Steve."

Silently, Steve quirked a brow while pressing his lips together to stop himself from smiling too wide at the statement. Sure, Bucky had said as much and more to Steve, himself. But Steve didn't mind hearing that Bucky was obviously talking about him with his family too. Yes, Steve already knew that Bucky did that -- his family had lovingly complained about it many times on their skype calls and in their messages -- but it still warmed his heart.

"Not Goat Steve!" Tibby argued as Eddie asked, "You have goats?!"

Excitedly, Tibby nodded and held up two fingers, "We have _two_ goats! We have Steve and Peggy! But Peggy is gonna have babies soon!"

"She is?" Joseph questioned, intrigued. Of course, when he pulled his mug away, a marshmallow-residue mustache resided.

"Yeah!" Tibby confirmed, leaning forward in her excitement.

Sarah tapped her upper lip, trying to silently tell Joseph that he had marshmallow-residue on his face. Only, Sarah and Joseph were such an affectionate couple that Joseph didn’t get it. Instead, he leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss to her lips.

At the adorable moment, Steve face-palmed. Shaking his head, Steve pressed his forehead to Bucky's broad shoulder and softly chuckled. Not being able to handle just how adorable his parents were.

Pulling back from the chaste kiss, Sarah giggled and shook her head. Picking up a napkin, Sarah wiped off Joseph's upper lip and clarified, "You had marshmallow, you dork."

"Oh," Joseph chuckled, completely unbothered. Winking at Sarah first, Joseph turned his attention back to Tibby and asked, "What are you going to name the baby goats?"

"Um," Tibby scrunched her face up as she thought. Macaroni tried to get out of her grasp, so she let her go, and got back to thinking.

"I vote Sam," Sam suggested, a smug smirk on his face as he nonchalantly shrugged.

"No, that's your name!" Eddie argued, loudly giggling at the absurdity.

Exaggeratedly, Sam bugged out his eyes and dropped his mouth open, as though shocked by this fact, "It is?!"

"Yes, silly!" Eddie theatrically slumped over, so he was laying on the floor instead of just sitting on it.

" _I'm_ silly?" Sam playfully questioned before reaching over and tickling Eddie. And since Sam was tickling Eddie, Tibby decided to join in too. All the while, the kittens scurried away as Mandy and Becca picked up their drinks, so they wouldn't be spilled.

Uncontrollably giggling and writhing on the floor, Eddie called out, "Mommy! Daddy! Save me!"

"Sorry, baby," Sarah teased, taking a dramatic sip of her hot chocolate, "I don't want the cocoa to get cold!"

Eddie turned his head to look over at Joseph, only to find Joseph making no effort in saving him as he held up his phone to record the interaction, just like Darlene was. In a last ditch effort, Eddie reached out for Steve, "Stevie, please!"

Playfully, Steve pretended to think about it. Which caused Eddie to plead, "Stevie!"

"I got ya!" Bucky agreed instead, crawling over to the bundle of limbs and playfully swatting at his siblings to get to Eddie. Laughing, Tibby and Sam stopped tickling Eddie, and Eddie continued to giggle. Even as he climbed into Bucky's lap and hugged him close.

Calming down, Eddie slumped against Bucky's chest and rested his head on Bucky's shoulder as he softly admitted, "I'd trade a kitten for you."

Bucky comfortingly rubbed Eddie's back and hugged him close, "Thanks, buddy. That means a whole lot."

"I mean, if you're up for it," Becca prompted, causing the room to fall back into laughter again.


	5. Four

**Four:**

Not used to sleeping on the comfy velvet sleeper sectional for more than a couple of hours, and being plain too excited, Steve tossed and turned in his spot. Of course, that probably had something to do with Bucky sleeping beside him with Sam on the other side, too. And, sure, it wasn't like they were going to do anything, but just being _next_ to Bucky caused Steve's stomach to fill with unruly butterflies.

In Steve's excitement and fatigue, he decided that maybe looking at Bucky might help solidify that he was actually there. That they weren't divided by a screen. That if he wanted to, he could just reach out and touch Bucky.

So, Steve opened his eyes. Expecting the first thing he saw to be Bucky. However, he found Sam, still on his side while Bucky's spot was empty.

Brows furrowed, Steve rubbed at his eyes. Surely, he was just imagining things. Only, when he opened them again, he saw the same thing as the first time he opened them. Which wasn't Bucky.

Confused, Steve sat up and glanced around the rec room. Mandy and Becca snoozed on their own giant bean bags. In the middle of the room, on an air mattress, Eddie slept in his Olaf sleeping bag next to Tibby in her TMNT sleeping bag. On top of the youngest members of the Barnes and Rogers families, the kittens peacefully slept.

Quietly climbing out of his spot, Steve looked over at the play area where Eddie's play kitchen and where the air hokey table was. Still no Bucky.

Stretching, Steve took a moment before maneuvering around the sleeping bodies and checked his charging cellphone. It was going on two in the morning. Silently, Steve set his phone back on the entertainment center, affectionately petted Meatloaf who was curled up on the oversized bean bag with Mandy.

On a search for Bucky, Steve headed down the stairs and entered the kitchen. Deciding to get a glass of water to hopefully get rid of his dry mouth. Taking a drink from the glass, Steve noticed that the tree in the living room was on. Typically, Sarah made sure to turn the lights off before going to bed.

Setting his glass down on the counter, Steve walked around the island towards the living room. The closer he got, Steve finally spotted Bucky. There, underneath the tree, Bucky laid. He had carefully moved the gifts, so he could rest his head on the tree skirt. Ankles crossed, he just laid there.

For a moment, Steve paused. Debating whether he should approach or not. After all, Bucky had snuck down there in the middle of the night while everyone else slept simply to lay under a tree. However, Steve had spent months with not being able to approach Bucky in person, and he refused to waste any time holding back now.

So, Steve lightly knocked on the archway to the room, just so Bucky knew that he was there. At that, Bucky moved so he could look over to where Steve stood.

"Whatcha doin'?" Steve whispered crossing the room.

In silent reply, Bucky simply waved Steve over. Patting the spot beside him, he moved over to create more room for Steve. And Steve sat down on the hardwood floor because he wanted to be close to Bucky. Reclining back, Steve laid under the tree and looked up through the fake branches and how beautiful the lights were.

"It's beautiful," Bucky quietly echoed Steve's thoughts.

"Yeah," Steve agreed. Turning his gaze from the tree, to Bucky, Steve assumed, "Couldn't sleep?"

"Nah," Bucky confirmed, and admitted, "Kinda nervous."

Steve's brows furrowed, "How come?"

“I’ve never been ice skating before,” Bucky winced at his own confession, then mocked himself, "I mean, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly the most graceful.”

Not meaning to, Steve giggled. Bucky looked over at him then. Steve reached up and covered his own mouth to stop his giggles. It was probably because his nerves were all over the place and he was sleep deprived, but he couldn't help it. Only removing his hand once he thought that the laughter subsided enough.

Biting back a grin, Bucky was debating something. Luckily for Steve, before he could overthink it, Bucky leaned in and sweetly kissed him. Steve was positive that this would be the best Christmas of his life. Even if the kiss did end too soon for Steve's liking.

"Is Christmas always like this?" Bucky asked, rolling onto his side to face Steve. "We've only ever celebrated Kwanznukkah."

"Kwanznukkah?" Steve repeated, rolling over to face Bucky as well. Bucky nodded his confirmation, and Steve answered his question in return, "I don't know about other families, but it's always been like this here. Well, since my parents have been together."

Flashbacks of the first Christmases that Steve could remember celebrating ran through his mind. Most of them were filled with Sarah working longer shifts than usual just to make sure that Steve got that one big present that he wanted the most. Sarah was always an amazing mom, but the older Steve got, the more awestruck he was by just how much she did for him.

Reaching over, Bucky placed his hand on Steve's forearm. Fondly, he rubbed light circles onto Steve's skin, and leaned forward to press a kiss to Steve's forehead. Steve closed his eyes. Usually, Steve would've felt off-kilter with someone knowing about his family and how Sarah was his biological sister and his adoptive mother. But with Bucky, it didn't make Steve feel bad about where he came from, or for having the unusual home life that he had.

"I remember this one Christmas," Steve softly started, licking over his lips as he looked back on his childhood, "I wanted this Hell in the Cell WWE playset. I mean, I _really_ wanted that thing because I would watch wrestling with Tim when he would babysit me, and my mom… She was working so hard. She was enrolled as a full-time student and working full-time on top of it, and so I was with Tim and his girlfriend a lot. Especially that Christmas because Mom was picking up overtime at the restaurant she worked at.

"Anyway," Steve shook his head, "That year was especially hard. And right before Christmas, our car broke down, and all that money that Mom had been saving had to go towards fixing it because there was no way that she would've been able to make it to her classes and her job and to her friends' to pick me up. And even though I was little, I knew that I wasn't going to get it."

Steve paused, remembering it all. How defeated Sarah had been. How she had cried in the living room after putting Steve to bed. The way that Sarah kept going over and over their bills, trying to figure out a way to get Steve what he wanted most that Christmas. Remembering Tim's girlfriend at the time telling Sarah, "Just get her some Barbie accessories. Those are pretty cheap." How Sarah had argued, "Stevie doesn't want that, and she deserves to have this. She's such a good kid, and I'm failing her."

Those words were the ones that always stayed in the back of Steve's head. Even as a child, Steve knew that Sarah wasn't failing him. She loved him and did everything she could to make sure he had the life that she didn't have. And once Steve started staying up all night debating coming out because he didn't want to fail her, did he think about those words even more.

Of course, just like with everything else in their relationship, Sarah and Steve had never counted the hardships as failings.

Clearing the emotion from his throat, Steve continued, "So, when Christmas finally came, I was surprised to find a homemade Hell in the Cell cage. It had been made out of popsicle sticks and --" Steve sniffled as tears built in the rim of his eyes and he giggled "-- Sarah had these Toy Story band aids all over her fingers because she got splinters from putting it together."

Thinking about it, Steve nodded to himself, "That's probably my favorite Christmas."

Finally, Steve looked up at Bucky and found the brunet genuinely grinning as he confirmed, "Sounds like a great Christmas."


	6. Five

**Five:**

"Where are my pencils?" Winifred called out from the office-meet-guest room.

From the island bar counter, Steve shoveled a perfected loukoumas into his mouth and glanced over to the modest circle table in the breakfast nook. Eddie and Tibby were off in their own little world as they excitedly chattered about the events lined up for the day. In their syrupy sticky hands, they held expensive, professional colored pencils.

Exiting the guest room, Winifred questioned from the foyer, "Darlene, didn't I pack them?"

"Which pencils?" Darlene called from the stove where she expertly removed more loukoumades from the oil, placing the fluffy golden puffs of fried dough on a plate of paper towels and instructing Joseph on how to create more.

"The --" Winifred cut herself off, pausing behind the island while her gaze was fixated on the youngest members of the families. Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath to calm herself before asking, "Tibby? Sweetie? What did I tell you about going through other people's things?"

"I didn't," Tibby easily answered while keeping her attention on her drawing.

Winifred pinched the bridge of her nose, "Tabitha Eugenia, what have we told you about lying?"

"I'm not lying!" Tibby defended herself, furrowing her face in offense as she finally turned her attention from her messy, sticky drawing to Winifred. To make her case, Tibby pointed her thumb in Eddie's direction, "He did!"

Eddie had been casually drawing with his tongue poking out in his concentration. But as soon as Tibby accused him, he slurped his tongue back into his mouth and angrily looked over at his new friend, "Hey!"

Sarah moved from her station at the counter where she was making more of the special syrup and placed her hand on her hip as she asked Eddie, "Did you?"

"No!" Eddie replied and pointed at Tibby, "She said that it was _her_ bag."

Turning to look at Winifred, Sarah apologized, "I'm so sorry. I thought they were Steve's."

"You what?" Steve questioned, quirking a brow. He had a sneaky suspicion that Eddie had been using his color pencils without him knowing, but it had only been a suspicion. Until now. Steve shook his head and muttered, "Maybe I'll just move to Arkansas."

Playfully Sarah rolled her eyes. While Sarah and Winifred crossed the kitchen to the table to gather the colored pencils and clean them off, Bucky leaned close to Steve and softly suggested, "Maybe you should."

Heart stuttering in his chest, Steve glanced to the boy beside him. That slow grin that Steve loved stretched at Bucky's mouth, and Steve challenged, "Maybe I will."

Bucky's grin grew even more, but before he could say anything, the doorbell rang. A rapid: _ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-ding-ding-ding-dong_ rang throughout the house. Sam quirked a brow as he paused in eating his loukoumades, and the other Barnes' members looked around. The Rogers were used to it though, and none of them made a move to get the door.

Of course, the Rogers were used to it. Especially when a loud, raspy familiar voice called out, "Holy baby Jesus, whatever you're cooking, smells fucking glorious!"

"Language, Nattie," Joseph warned like he always did.

"I know, I know," Natasha appeased while playfully rolling her eyes and hugging the father she wished she had. When she pulled back, she touched her own chin and complimented Joseph, "The beard is turning out nicely."

"Ya think?" Joseph perked, running his hand over his salt-and-pepper closely trimmed beard.

"Don't encourage him," Sarah joked, washing the color pencils from the syrup fingerprints. Winking over her shoulder, she teased, "We've been through this."

"Right," Natasha tapped her nose the way that they would when they played charades before hugging her cousins.

When Mandy and Becca took too long with their hugs, Sam loudly, playfully complained, "Stop hogging, Nattie! I was her cousin first!"

"Technically, I was," Bucky argued, finishing his coffee.

" _Technically, I was_ ," Sam mocked before clarifying, "By seven minutes."

"Yeah, _technically_ ," Natasha agreed. Once Sam let go, Natasha opened her arms wide and demanded Bucky, "Now get off your ass-paragus loving butt and come hug me!"

"Nice save," Steve mocked and smiled at the two as they hugged. Letting go of each other, Bucky returned to his stool beside Steve and Natasha took a step towards Steve. Arms outstretched, Natasha stood in front of him. Feigning confusion, Steve teased, "What do you want? I see you, like, every day."

"Ouch," Natasha pretended to be hurt and dramatically touched her chest over her heart, "That hurt, Steve. That hurt real bad."

"You're ridiculous," Steve good-humoredly scoffed and pulled Natasha in for a hug.

Resting her chin on Steve's shoulders, Natasha whispered, "You drop the, 'L-word,' yet?"

"No," Steve shushed her and poked her side in hopes of keeping her quiet. Nervously giving Bucky a sideways glance as he hoped that Bucky didn't hear his cousin. Especially when it was supposed to be a _secret_.

"Calm down," Natasha reassured and kissed Steve's cheek. Pulling away from Steve, Natasha mussed his floppy blond hair. Theatrically checking him out, she mused, "Damn, Stevie, you sure do make a girl wanna _love_ a boy."

Internally cringing, Steve shook his head and sat back down on his stool. Turning around to face the counter again, he went to drink his coffee only for him to remember that he drank it all already. Slumping in his spot a bit, Steve considered getting up and making himself another cup. Only, Natasha took a seat on Bucky's other side. And although Steve trusted Natasha with his life, he sure as hell didn't trust her with Bucky. Especially not with that smug smirk on her face.

"You know," Natasha started, leaning close to Bucky, but keeping her gaze on Steve, "I think you might need another cup of coffee. Don't want ya grumpy while we're skating."

"I'm not going to be grumpy," Steve argued.

"He said grumpily," Joseph teased, leaning against the counter as he popped a loukoumas. Only, it must have been hot because he comically opened his mouth as though he was trying to suck in air to cool off the mouthful of freshly made puff ball.

"Serves you right," Steve laughed. Joseph playfully narrowed his eyes at him while Steve childishly stuck his tongue out in reply.

"What was that about you not being grumpy?" Natasha cocked her head to the side as she feigned confusion.

To that, Steve childishly stuck his tongue out at her too. Which only caused a childish war as Natasha mutely retorted by sticking her own tongue out. Leaning further into Bucky's space, Steve stuck his tongue out again at his best friend. So, Natasha mimicked Steve's movement and did the same.

The closer the pair moved towards each other, the further Bucky leaned away. Finally climbing off his stool, Bucky crossed the room to the coffee maker, causing Steve to pause. Brows furrowing, Steve watched as Bucky started brewing a new pot. And once Bucky turned back around to face them, Steve silently questioned him.

"I haven't had enough caffeine to continuously fall on the ice," Bucky reasoned, reached over the island counter for his mug. Reaching for Steve's too, he paused and asked, "Want a refill?"

Narrowing his eyes, Steve studied him for a moment. It all seemed too convenient for Bucky to just want more coffee. However, Steve wasn't about to turn down another mug, so he slumped in his seat and nodded. Of course, Bucky simply smiled that favorite grin of Steve's, making him want to grab ahold of Bucky's soft green sweater and pull him close so he could kiss him. And for a moment, Steve was sure that Bucky wanted to do the same when he tenderly brushed his fingers against Steve's as they exchanged the mug.

Then, the speaker interrupted the Six13 Hanukkah classic _, Chanukah (Shake It Off)_ , with the starting of a new song. Steve's brows furrowed, as did the others in the room. Well, except for Nat. As the familiar tinkling music started, Steve's mind tried to place the tune. Luckily -- Steve supposed -- it didn't take him long when a young Mandy Moore sang, " _I'm so addicted to the loving that you're feeding to me (ohhh)_."

That was all it took for Steve to glare daggers at Natasha while Sarah excitedly sang along, " _Can't do without it, this feeling's got me weak in the knees_ ," completely missing out on the point of Natasha playing the song in her nostalgia.

All the while, Steve knew exactly what Natasha was doing and he was sure that anyone else who wasn't on the nostalgia train. That instantly excluded the parents, however, as Winifred and Darlene danced around the kitchen as Joseph and Sarah who picked up spatulas and sang along. Immediately, that made the youngest members jump up from their seats at the table to join their parents.

Steve simply shook his head and hoped that Bucky wouldn't catch on. Judging by the blush on his handsome face though, Steve knew that Bucky knew. And Steve wished that the ground below him would open up and swallow him whole. Only…

On closer inspection, Bucky didn't look embarrassed for Steve, he just looked plain embarrassed. From his seat at the island, Steve tried to catch Bucky's gaze. When he finally did, it wasn't for long. Quickly, Bucky bashfully adverted his gaze. And wasn't that just the oddest thing considering Natasha was teasing _him_ , not Bucky.


	7. Six

**Six:**

Standing on the ice, Steve waited for Bucky. Bucky who had held his hand the entire car ride and even through the indoor rink until they had to change out of their shoes and into the skates. Now though, Bucky was stalling. Steve was aware of this, and he was sure that Bucky, himself, knew that he knew.

"C'mon, Buck," Steve encouraged, holding onto the dividing wall as he stood off to the side, out of the way where people couldn't accidentally bump into him.

Bucky looked up at Steve then. Looking entirely unsure of all the choices he made that led him to that point. Taking a deep breath, Bucky placed his hands on the bench as though he was going to push himself off. Only for him to continue sitting there. Clearly out of his element and terrified. And that caused Steve's chest to clench because that wasn't how Bucky was supposed to feel.

Taking a step off the ice and closer to Bucky, Steve reassured, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to. You know that, right?"

"I know," Bucky confirmed, nodding to himself. Looking down at his feet, Bucky admitted, "I want to. I just need a minute."

"Okay," Steve agreed and leaned against the divider. Willing to wait for Bucky to be comfortable. Really, Steve would wait for Bucky forever. Feeling the heat color his cheeks, Steve smirked and leaned over the wall as he complimented, "You look really cute in your hat."

Since Bucky was stressed and his nerves were all a mess, Steve's comment startled a chuckle from him. Steve's smile grew at that, and so did Bucky's. Biting back his grin, Bucky playfully argued, "Not as cute as you."

"Aw, shucks, Buck," Steve mocked, even though the compliment made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Leaning on the barrier still, Steve asked, "Since ya think I'm so cute, why don't you come over here and kiss me?"

Bucky took in a deep breath and puffed out his cheeks. Nodding to himself, Bucky blew the breath out and pushed himself off the bench. Looking like a newborn dear learning how to walk, Steve watched Bucky cross the area. In hopes of helping Bucky maintain his balance, Steve held his arms out to him.

Gratefully, Bucky accepted Steve's help. However, neither was prepared for just how clumsy Bucky was. As soon as both feet were on the rink, Steve gave Bucky a gentle tug. Which was exactly the wrong move as Bucky doubled over before over-correctly himself and flailing backwards, landing harshly on his bum.

“Are you okay?” Steve crouched down to be eye-level with Bucky. Bucky nodded in his silent reply, and Steve stood upward again. Holding his hands out for Bucky as he assured, “The first fall is always the hardest.”

“Right,” Bucky agreed, trying to encourage himself, even though Steve could tell that he didn’t truly believe it.

“Trust me,” Steve wiggles his fingers, waiting for Bucky to take his hands. As casually as possible, Steve reassured, “At least now you know what’s coming. You can be better prepared now.”

Nodding, Bucky grabbed Steve’s hands and attempted to pull himself up with Steve’s assistance. Only, Steve was rather petite. More petite than he cared to admit. Clearly more petite than either had taken into consideration, as Bucky fell back onto the ice with Steve tumbling forward on top of him.

“Oof,” Steve chuckled into Bucky’s broad shoulder. Good humoredly, Steve pushed himself up, now kneeling in between Bucky’s legs as he teased, “That’s one way to get closer.”

Only, Bucky looked absolutely miserable as he complained, “This was a mistake.”

“No,” Steve cupped Bucky’s cheek and corrected, “This is normal. It’s your first time being on ice.”

“This is embarrassing,” Bucky muttered, looking down at his lap.

For a moment, Steve observed Bucky. Really studied him. His face was red and Steve couldn’t tell if it was because of a blush or a nip in the air. He was worrying his lower lip, and Steve just wanted to ease Bucky’s nerves. So, he leaned forward and affectionately pressed his lips to Bucky’s.

Just a quick, sweet peck, that Steve hoped would bring a smile to Bucky’s face. Luckily, it did. Sure, it wasn’t the large grin that Steve adored, but considering how embarrassed Bucky truly seemed to be, it was a start.

Steve leaned in again to kiss Bucky’s forehead. With his lips still pressed to Bucky’s flushed skin, Steve confessed, “I’m proud of you.”

“Why?” Bucky scoffed, seemingly genuine in his confusion.

“Because you’re trying something new,” Steve shrugged and moved, attempting to help Bucky up again.

Using the rink border for help this time, the pair managed to get Bucky back on his feet. As Bucky stood there on unsteady feet, he leaned in and kissed Steve. It was just as quick and just as sweet as Steve’s had been, but Steve wished that it had lasted longer. He wished to get lost in Bucky. But he was also aware that now, in front of their families and strangers, wasn’t the time.

Bucky rested his forehead against Steve’s and said, “I’d try anything for you.”

Butterflies stirred in Steve’s abdomen as he promised, “And I with you.”

And that was all it took.

Holding onto the divider wall and Steve’s hand, Bucky slowly skated around the rink. Not as gracefully as Sarah. Not as carefree as their siblings. And definitely not as impressively as Natasha. But Bucky did it nonetheless.

After his second rotation around the large indoor rink, Bucky concluded, “I think I’m done.”

“Okay,” Steve readily agreed. Still so very proud as he helped him over to the opening where he had originally entered from. Making sure that he got to the bench alright, Steve suggested, “How about you get us some hot chocolate? I’ll be there in a minute.”

Bucky nodded as he sat down on the bench and immediately started undoing his rental skates. Steve stood there, leaning against the barrier for a moment and graciously accepted the kiss Bucky gave him on his way over to the concessions. Then, Steve pushed himself off and freely skated around for a bit.

One of Steve’s favorite things in the world was ice skating. Of feeling the chilly air on his face. Of being able to nicely glide around. Especially when the ice had recently been cleaned and resurfaced and looked like glass. He wasn’t nearly as good of a skater as Natasha was, but he was alright. After all, it was one of his childhood dreams of being a professional figure skater.

Steve would like to personally blame the Disney Channel original movie, _Go Figure_ , and for his own naïve child mind assuming that the only way he could be on a hockey team was if he became a successful figure skater first.

With his right arm and right leg back, Steve kept his left arm ahead of him and mastered his three turn. His body remembering the movements even though he hadn't skated in years. As though it was as easy as riding a bike, Steve made sure his backward inside edge was steady and pivoted himself with his right leg. Making it seem entirely effortless as he landed the Salchow Jump.

Sticking the landing, Steve held the pose for a few seconds. Although he had hated his former instructor and the rigorous training, Steve always loved the skating. Feeling as though the time his skates were completely off the ice in a jump, that he was flying. That he could be anything. That he was alone without the voice in his head criticizing him for everything he did and how the world saw him.

Of course, the cheering that came from his family and friends reminded him that he wasn't alone in that moment. Cheeks red, Steve felt even more embarrassed than he did when he fell on the ice during a competition when he was a child.

Coming to a natural stop, Steve covered his face with his gloved hands. Peeking out from between his fingers, Steve spotted Bucky off by a table. Enthusiastically, Bucky applauded and even whistled in his support. Something that caused his heart to whisper, _yes, we love this one_.


	8. Seven

**Seven:**

"I didn't know you could skate," Bucky said, positively awestruck by Steve as they sat off to the side by themselves, drinking hot chocolate.

Steve hid his blush by looking at the to-go cup, as he tried to brush off Bucky's admiration, "It's not that impressive. I mean, look at Nat."

"Nattie's good at everything she does," Bucky good-humoredly scoffed. Then, he affectionately bumped his shoulder against Steve's as he adoringly teased, "Apparently, so are you."

That made Steve's blush grow and stretch, all the way up to the tips of his ears. Which he was grateful to be wearing a soft, crocheted blue stocking hat to hide it. Looking up at Bucky, Steve's heart fluttered. The soft way that Bucky was gazing at him made Steve think that maybe -- just maybe -- Bucky loved him too.

 _No_ , Steve shook the thought from his head. He wasn't about to get his hopes up. He wasn't going to build this week up only to have to say goodbye again until a Norse God knew when he'd see Bucky again.

So, instead of overthinking and searching for something that would only break his heart once the week was up, Steve decided to do the one thing he could in that moment: Kiss Bucky. Steve leaned in and sweetly pressed his lips to Bucky's. Enjoying the kiss and wanting to memorize it all. The slight chap to his lips. The taste of hot chocolate. The way that Bucky lifted his hand to cradle Steve's face in his hands and held him as though he was the most precious gift in the world.

"Oh, get a room," Sam's deep voice teased as he joined them at the table.

Pulling apart, Steve hid his blushing face in Bucky's broad shoulder while Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve's waist, holding him close. Across from them, Sam feigned disgust, even though it was easy to tell by his grin alone that he was happy for the pair.

So much so that Sam complained, "I gotta get a girlfriend."

"That's a mood," Natasha agreed as she sat down next to Sam with a to-go hot chocolate of her own.

"Oh, please," Sam scoffed and argued, "You practically have a girlfriend!"

Taking a sip of her hot chocolate, Natasha feigned confusion as she playfully asked, "I do?"

"Yeah, ya know, athletic, smart, blonde," Sam teased, exaggeratedly wiggling his eyebrows.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Natasha demurely stated, taking an elegant sip of her hot cocoa.

Of course, she did know and so did everyone else. Natasha had been talking with Sharon for about as long as Steve had been talking with Bucky. And much like Steve, Natasha was also afraid of telling Sharon just how deeply she felt for her. Although, there was one huge difference between the pairs, Bucky — and the rest of the Barnes — had been able to travel to New York to be with Steve. Whereas the Carter’s traveled to DC to visit their relatives. Natasha still held out hope that they’d be able to see each other, and Steve held out hope for them too. He shouldn’t be the only fortunate one this holiday season.

Then, Natasha added, "And you forgot to say, 'Empathetic, compassionate, and the most beautiful woman the world has ever seen."

“Maybe we can road trip,” Mandy helpfully suggested.

Natasha grinned at that, even though there was a sadness in her eyes. Steve wasn’t sure if her cousins could see it, but he saw it. Recognizing it and categorizing it, so he could remember to comfort her more later. For now though, Steve simply reached across the table and gave her hand a soothing squeeze.

Cuddling just a bit closer, Bucky kissed the side of Steve’s head and agreed with his younger sister, “A road trip sounds fun.”

“Road trip?” Darlene excitedly questioned as she joined the teens at the table with her camera hanging around her neck and Tibby at her side.

Sam nodded his confirmation, but when Sarah joined the table she rejected the idea entirely as she reminded Steve and Natasha, “I hate to be _that_ mom, but definitely not gonna happen.”

“Why not?” Winifred asked, helping Eddie with his hot chocolate.

“They know why,” Joseph clarified with a chuckle before further explaining for those not involved, “You give them a car and well wishes and they end up in Pennsylvania instead of with Ivan Up North.”

“In our defense,” Natasha breezily cut in while the Arkansas clan laughed at the quick story, “Would you want to be stuck with my dad? There’s a reason why he’s saved as, ‘Ivan the Terrible,’ in my phone.”

Words of assent were shared among the group with, "That's true," and, "No, definitely not," because really, who would ever want to be left with Natasha's dad? Certainly not anyone at the table, and Steve was willing to bet no one else would either. After all, his ex-fiancée called off the engagement because he was an, "egotistical, narcissistic, jealous, mother fucking asshole who is incapable of loving because he has no heart, and shouldn't even be allowed to be a father because he sure as shit doesn't care about what's best for his daughter!"

Or at least that was what Natasha had relayed back to Steve. And considering Natasha sided with her, that said a lot. Really though, it just made Steve feel even more protective over his best friend than he originally had. Steve could tell that he wasn't the only one though. Not only did Natasha's family care about her and her well-being, but so did his own family. Sarah and Joseph did give Natasha a key to their house for a reason.

Rubbing Natasha's back, Sarah maternally kissed her temple and smoothed her hand over Natasha's freshly colored vibrant red hair. Motherly, Sarah assured, "That's why you're our daughter."

"No give-backs!" Natasha joked, resting her head on Sarah's shoulder.

"Nah, we'd never be able to do that," Steve reassured, winking at his best friend. Holding Bucky just a bit closer, Steve confirmed, "We keep the ones we like."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me, your favorite emotional author that delivers the fluff and strings you along within an inch of your life with my slow burns! Anyway... I'll be officially moving tomorrow (Monday, 12/23/19), so I might not be able to update for a few days. I want to wish you all a happy holiday season! Blessed Yule, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and every other greeting! Feel free to share your own holiday greetings and/or your holiday traditions!
> 
> I've gotta go pack now, so I hope you're all having a wonderful day/night wherever you are, and I hope that you're having a loving holiday season!
> 
> Much love and appreciation,  
> Minnie ❤❤❤


	9. Eight

**Eight:**

"Is it someone's birthday?" Eddie naively questioned as the menorah sat on the dining room table and everyone gathered around.

Sarah winced at her son's comment while Darlene clarified, "No, baby. It's the first night of Hanukkah."

"Hanukkah?" Eddie tested and turned to look up at Sarah who stood behind him, smoothing his auburn hair. He shook his head to get away from her motherly touch and asked her, "What's Hanukkah?"

"It's a Jewish holiday," Mandy explained, setting her phone face down on the other end of the table.

"We get presents," Tibby excitedly added, "And gelt!"

"Really?!" Eddie eagerly looked over at Joseph as he asked, "Do we get to open Christmas presents too?!"

"No, sweetie, those are for Christmas," Sarah quietly stated, trying to keep her son quiet and not seem any ruder than she was fearful they already seemed.

"But you get to open Hanukkah presents," Winifred told him, before looking mildly ashamed for not asking the Rogers if they wanted to participate in Hanukkah to begin with. Sheepishly, she looked at Sarah and Joseph, and amended, "If that's okay."

"Of course, it is," Joseph reassured with a large grin on his face. Of course, Steve knew that Joseph was probably relieved since both his parents had also bought Christmas presents for the Barnes' family.

Winifred's grin grew then, showing off the rainbow piercing that peeked out from beneath her upper lip. Only taking a moment before taking the first candle and placing it in the furthest right spot. Then, she recited the blessings, " _Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha'olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tsivanu l'hadlik ner shel Hanukkah_.

" _Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha'olam, she-asah nisim la'avoteniu bayamim hahem bazman hazeh_.

" _Baruch atah Adonai, Elohenu Melech ha'olam, shehecheyanu, v'kiyimanu, v'higiyanu la'zman hazeh_."

Picking up the shammash from its center spot, Winifred lit the candle and used it to light the first candle. Placing the shammash back in its place, Sarah softly complimented, "That was beautiful, Winnie."

"Thank you," Winifred smiled at Sarah. After making sure that the menorah could be seen in the window, she asked the group, "Who wants to play dreidel?!"

"Me!" Eddie eagerly agreed even though he had no idea what a dreidel was, let alone how to play it.

"Me too!" Tibby loudly proclaimed in her excitement as she hopped up and down with Eddie.

"Easy," Darlene warned and ushered them away from the dining room where they couldn't possibly knock over the menorah. On her way out of the room, she pressed a sweet kiss to Winifred's lips and said, "Happy Hanukkah, love."

"Happy Hanukkah, darling," Winifred replied, still smiling before affectionately patting Darlene's bum as she left the room.

Playfully, Darlene narrowed her eyes at her wife and warned, "Watch it. Or I won't share any of my gelt with you."

"You should all just give me your gelt right now, since we all know that you're going to lose anyway," Sam arrogantly teased as he followed his mom and sisters out of the room.

"Who says that you're even going to win this year?" Becca questioned.

"Yeah," Mandy added, "This year, Steve's playing."

"That's right," Steve feigned arrogance, mocking Sam as he followed the group out of the room, "I might just beat you."

"You might be just what this family needs," Bucky ducked his head and whispered directly into Steve's ear.

Blushing, Steve pressed his lips together to stop himself from smiling too big. Even more so once Bucky kissed his cheek. Out of all the good memories that Steve had about the holidays, he could've never guessed that they would just keep getting better. Wanting to believe so desperately that this was the start of something wonderful. Something that would continue on, not just this year, but every year after.

Despite all his anxieties and insecurities and dysphoria, Steve knew that no matter what, this would be his favorite Hanukkah by far. Hoping that there would be more to come. But understanding that even if him and Bucky didn't have the romance he dreamed of nightly, that he'd always have this.

With the way that Bucky looked at him though, Steve was sure that this was only the beginning. He was willing to put all his gelt in the pot on that one. After all, Bucky was here now. And that was after months of thinking that there'd only ever be a long distance relationship for them.

But may god strike down whoever bet against Bucky. From what Steve could tell, Bucky was the type to do whatever he set his mind to.

And right now, Bucky seemed to have his mind set on Steve. Especially when he patted the spot on the floor beside him as they all gathered around the coffee table. A festive pastel blue dreidel sat in the middle of the table while Sam divided the gelt.

"Wanna share?" Bucky asked, grinning at Steve.

Like Scrooge McDuck, Steve held the chocolate coins close to his person as he teased, "Why? Are you bad at this or something?"

"No," Bucky lovingly bumped his shoulder against Steve's, "I just know that you'll be good at this too. Like with everything else you do.

Heart stuttering, Steve smiled as he leaned in and kissed Bucky's cheek, "Just because you're cute, I'll share my riches."

Bucky's grin grew at that while he asked, "You think I'm cute?"

Playfully, Steve rolled his eyes and complained, "I take it back. I'll keep it all for myself."

"Oh, you don't mean that," Bucky called Steve's bluff. Leaning in, placed his hand behind Steve to steady himself and rested his chin on Steve's shoulder as he whispered, "You think I'm cute."

"Okay," Sam clapped his hands together to get the attention of all those playing.

Quickly, Bucky kissed Steve's check again before retreating back to his own spot, listening as Sam went over the instructions. And it was a good thing that Bucky knew how to play, because Steve couldn't hear anything over his pulse racing in his ears as he looked over at Bucky, wondering how he got so lucky.


	10. Nine

**Nine:**

"Beginners luck," is what Sam good-naturedly grumbled, throwing his last Hanukkah gelt in the pot. Regaining some of his lovable arrogance, Sam instructed, "Spin the damn thing!"

"Hey," Darlene reprimanded over her glass of kosher white Riesling wine.

Typically, Sam wouldn't have worried about a swear word so low on the pyramid, but because his mothers raised him right, he apologized, "Sorry, Sarah."

Buzzed on the kosher wine, Sarah giggled and reassured, "It's okay, sweetie."

Rubbing the festive pastel blue dreidel between his hands, putting on a show, Steve kept his gaze locked on Sam's. Even going so far in his production and stalling as to open his hands, holding it towards Bucky. As though it was dice and Bucky was lucky, Bucky played along and teasingly blew on the dreidel and leaned in to kiss Steve's cheek. Wickedly, Steve grinned at Sam before setting the four sided top on the coffee table and spun it.

Steve tried not to get too caught up in the game, but he's always been a little more on the competitive side. Not in a cruel way. Just enough to keep him interested in the game and give it his all.

Once the dreidel stopped spinning, it revealed a sparkly, silver, _Gimel_. Good-humoredly outraged, Sam bellowed, "You've got to be figgy pudding!"

All the while, Steve giggled manically as he used both hands to scrape the large amount of chocolate coins over to himself. Attempting to create a neat pile, but failing as the pieces fell over the side of the table and spilled out in an unsightly mess. Which prompted Steve to start stacking the pieces, making him feel like a real Scrooge.

Sweetly, Bucky kissed Steve's cheek and reached forward to grab a gelt for himself. Pausing, Bucky hovered his hand over the pieces and asked, "May I have one?"

"Don't let him, Steve," Becca jokingly advised.

"Yeah," Mandy nodded, teasingly agreeing, "He's a gelt digger."

Bucky's mouth dropped as he feigned offense, "Rude."

"That's okay," Steve exaggerated. Playfully condescendingly, Steve patted Bucky's hand and slid two foil wrapped chocolate gelt over to him as he mocked, "You can be my Sugar Baby."

"Nice!" Bucky excitedly agreed as he accepted the chocolate and unwrapped a piece. Popping it in his mouth, he asked, "Can I quit school now?"

Steve popped a chocolate gelt into his own mouth and winked at Bucky instead of replying. He smiled noting the blush forming on Bucky's cheeks, knowing that he was the reason behind it. When a grin started slowly stretching across Bucky's face, Steve's heart stuttered.

There it was again, that nagging feeling. The one that urged to Steve to kiss Bucky silly. The one that urged him to tell Bucky that he loved him. The one that begged Steve to let Bucky stay forever. As if he had any say in the matter.

Tamping down that nagging sensation, Steve directed his attention towards the parents and questioned, "Didn't you mention presents?"

"I think I remember that too," Sam agreed, smugly smirking at his moms.

"Yes, there are presents," Winifred assented, finishing off her own glass of kosher white wine.

Excitedly, Tibby squirmed in her spot on the floor, "Can we open them?!"

Eyebrows raised high on her forehead, Darlene looked over at Winifred for the confirmation. Theatrically, Winifred sighed and said, "Sure. Why not?"

Hopping up from her seat on the sofa, Darlene giddily hurried over to the office/guest room. All the while, Joseph poured himself another glass of wine and cozied up on the loveseat next to Sarah. On the floor, the teens remained around the coffee table and only moved once Darlene returned with the gifts.

Wrapped in shiny, glittery pastel blue paper, Darlene handed them out to their correct recipients. As she handed Eddie his, Eddie adoringly gazed up at her and complimented, "You're the prettiest Santa Claus."

Touched by that, Darlene paused, tucked her rose pink hair behind her ear, and let it fall so she held her hand to her chest as she said, "Thank you, sweetie."

Eddie grinned up at her the way that he would to his own mother, and held the wrapped present close to himself. While Sarah leaned over in her seat to kiss Eddie's floppy auburn hair, Darlene made her way back over to her seat on the couch. Once everyone had their gifts, Winifred clapped her hands and said, "Okay. Open 'em!"

So, that's what everyone did. Tibby tore into hers, causing small pieces of paper flying off that the kittens rolled around in, while Eddie carefully removed his, probably saving it for his collection of other wrapping paper he liked.

Revealing a soft baby blue long sleeve tee, Steve lifted the garment to get a better look at it. In cute graphics, tiny silver, sparkly dreidels dotted around a beautifully scrawled, _Let the Good Times Roll_. And although the shirt would've been nice enough on its own, Steve found that it was the top to a pajama set. The navy blue pants matched the font while a sparkly silver and sparkly baby blue dreidel pattern caught Steve's eye.

All around him, Steve noticed that they had all been gifted the same pajamas, causing Steve's heart to swell as big as the Grinch's. It must've gotten to Sarah too because she got teary eyed and thanked Darlene and Winifred with hugs. Sure, the Rogers' were used to wearing matching pajamas for the holidays -- and might've had the same idea as the Barnes' this year, but for Christmas -- Steve felt like this solidified it.

They were a family.

Even if Mandy did question, "Didn't we get these in gray last year?"

"No, we got the dark green, 'Menorahsaurous Rex,' ones last year," Becca corrected.

Feigning offense, Steve complained, "Menorahsaurous Rex?! That's it! I need to exchange these!"

Joseph playfully rolled his eyes at Steve's dramatics while Sarah gave him a pointed look. Turning around to look at his dream in-laws, Steve genuinely said, "Thank you."

"Of course," Winifred winked while Darlene affectionately mussed Steve's floppy blond hair.

Soon enough, the chatter in the room started up again, but Steve kept his gaze on the pajama set. Knowing that he'd sleep in them every night that he spent away from Bucky. Hoping that they wouldn't be away for too long. After all, Steve did apply to UALR…

"Maybe next Hanukkah," Bucky leaned closer and whispered "You can borrow my Menorahsaurous Rex pajamas."

Cementing that this was something real in Steve's heart, he smiled at Bucky. And although he knew that he wanted nothing more than to spend all his Hanukkah's with Bucky, Steve held back and simply said, "Maybe."


	11. Ten

**Ten:**

"' _With blessings, songs, and bright menorahs_ ,'" Darlene read from Tilda Balsley children's book, Eight Is Great, with Eddie under one arm and Tibby under the other. Reaching out with his tiny hand, Eddie gently ran his hand over Hideko Takahashi's beautiful, colorful illustrations while Darlene continued, "' _Remembering heroes long before us, Our friends and family celebrate. On Hanukkah --_ ** _eight is great_**.'"

Everyone in their matching pajamas, the night was calm and comforting. Hot cocoa was drank, cats were sleeping, and although Eddie yawned, he whined, "One more story?"

"Sorry, bub," Joseph declined, standing from his spot. Stretching, he suggested, "I think we should all get some sleep."

"But I'm not tired," Eddie pouted, his freckled face scrunching in his fight of sleepiness. Holding onto Darlene a little tighter, Eddie was on the verge of tears, "I want to spend more time with my new friends."

"You can spend time with us tomorrow," Winifred encouraged, yawning herself as she sleepily pet along the length of Meatloaf's body as she slept curled up on her lap.

Tibby looked up at Joseph and asked, "Promise?"

"Promise," Sarah confirmed, holding out her pinky finger.

Knowing that there was nothing more binding than a pinky promise, Tibby linked her tiny finger with Sarah's and climbed off the couch. Holding her hand out to Eddie, she offered, "We can have fun tomorrow."

Torn between reluctance and excitement, Eddie took Tibby's tiny hand and allowed her to help pull him from his spot. Sarah smiled down at the pair and bent over to kiss the top of Eddie's head. Seemingly, caught up in the moment, she kissed Tibby's head too. Not that Tibby really minded that much, she came from an affectionate family, just like the Rogers.

"You want us to tuck you in?" Darlene called over her shoulder and petting Tater-tot as he stretched along the back of the couch, while Darlene watched the pair head over to the staircase that lead up to the rec room.

"No," the kids called out in unison. And although Tibby was a year older and three inches taller, they were two peas in a matching Hanukkah pajamas pod.

"Well then," Joseph dramatically scoffed, with his hands on his hips.

As the parents stood from their seats, so did the teens. Everyone exchanging hugs and kisses, and petting the drowsy cats before heading off to their sleeping areas. With Sarah and Joseph heading up the main staircase to their bedroom, Winifred and Darlene heading over to the office/guest room, and the teens heading up the second staircase on the other side of the house to the rec room above the two-car garage.

Steve started following the rest of the Barnes' and with his foot on the step, he had no intentions in not following. Until his sleeve was tugged on. Pausing, Steve turned to look at Bucky who was still standing on the tile floor. Watching as Bucky worried his lower lip with his teeth, Steve's brows furrowed.

"I, uh," Bucky quietly started, letting go of Steve's sleeve.

Backtracking, Steve took the two steps back down to the main level and stood in front of Bucky. His brows were still furrowed as he looked up at him. Especially since Bucky bashfully kept his gaze down on his hands as he started wringing them.

"Buck?" Steve questioned, starting to get a little anxious.

Finally setting his gaze on Steve, Bucky briefly glanced up the staircase to make sure that his siblings were completely upstairs before looking back at Steve. Softly, Bucky confessed, "I, uh, I got you a Hanukkah present."

Steve's brows rose high up on his forehead as he asked, "You did?"

"Yeah?" Bucky confirmed, seemingly unsure with himself now. Observing Steve, Bucky quickly downplayed it, "But it's nothing big or anything. It's just a little…" Bucky nervously rubbed the back of his neck, "It's… stupid…"

A pang struck through Steve's chest, unable to let Bucky think like that. Trying to keep his tone light, Steve smiled and teasingly suggested, "How about you let me open it and decide?"

"You sure?" Bucky asked.

Steve nodded his confirmation, he playfully shoved at Bucky's shoulder, gaining a slow grin from the handsome brunet. Holding out his hand to him, Steve said, "C'mon."

Bucky accepted Steve's hand and laced their fingers together as he led them back over to the now abandoned living room. Guiding Steve over to the sofa while he crossed the room to plug in the Christmas tree lights again. Steve couldn't help but think about how he'd string Christmas lights in their bedroom since Bucky seemed to love them so much. Not to mention how beautifully the lights illuminated his handsome features.

Retrieving a small, wrapped gift from the back of the tree, Bucky carried it over to the sofa. Sitting down beside Steve, Bucky looked at the present for a moment. It was pristinely wrapped and for a moment, Bucky just looked down at it before sighing and handing it over to Steve.

With the 3 x 3 inches package placed in Steve's hands, he just stared at it. The shiny blue paper was too pretty to ruin and he suddenly understood why Eddie had the weird fascination of keeping it, because Steve wanted to cherish this for the rest of his life. Wanted to use it as wallpaper and cover his room in it.

Delicately, Steve pulled apart the carefully placed tape from where it held the paper in place. Revealing a plain, white gift box, Steve's heart started to race. Wondering what could be inside. A part of him wanting to keep the mystery and not open it. Of course, with Bucky sitting there beside him, Steve let himself give in to his stronger urge to find out what Bucky had given him.

Lifting the top, Steve pulled out the styrofoam and covered his mouth with his free hand. Tears building in his eyes, a small gleeful giggle escaped him. Nestled in the styrofoam, Steve's eyes gazed at a Christmas ornament. Not just any ornament, however. The circular ornament was the poster for the 1957 monster movie classic, _I Was a Teenage Werewolf_.

"It was, um," Bucky shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "The, uh, first movie that we, um, watched… together."

Steve nodded and giggled again. Moving the present off his lap, and carefully placing it on the coffee table, Steve stood and crossed the room. Knowing exactly where he placed his gift to Bucky, Steve bent and easily located it.

Excitedly, Steve handed the 4 x 4 inches box to Bucky and sat back down on the sofa beside him. Watching with a large grin on his face as Bucky quickly -- much quicker than Steve had -- unwrapped his present. Pulling out the protective styrofoam, Bucky smiled at the _I Was a Teenage Werewolf_ movie poster mug.

Setting it on the table, Bucky softly chuckled, "Great minds think alike."

"Guess so," Steve agreed, resting his head on the sofa back, petting Peaches who joined her brother on the back of the sofa, as he watched Cat James jump onto Bucky's lap as he also leaned into the sofa, turning to look at him too. Moving a little closer, Steve whispered, "Happy Hanukkah."

Grin slowly growing, Bucky closed the short distance between them. Reaching up to cradle Steve's face in his free hand. Affectionately kissing Steve in a way that caused his stomach to flutter with electricity, his toes to tingle, and his mind to go fuzzy. The type of kissing that they hadn't been able to do with their families around.

When they finally pulled apart, Bucky rested his forehead against Steve's and softly replied, "Happy Hanukkah."


	12. Eleven

**Eleven:**

Before anyone realized it, it was Christmas Eve, and almost exactly halfway through the Barnes' visit. What made it worse was that it was ten minutes away from midnight. Almost as though Steve could feel the melancholy reaching out for him, he couldn't keep the frown from his face.

"You okay?" Bucky asked, playfully bumping his shoulder against Steve's.

Steve's gaze was down, looking at the red pajama pants with a smiling gingerbread man pattern. They matched the ones that everyone else was wearing for the annual Rogers' Christmas Eve Tradition of festive pajamas. Chest clenching to know that the Barnes' were included that year for _hopefully_ the first year.

Shrugging, Steve looked over at Bucky, but he couldn't meet his eyes. Bucky was too cute in his matching red long-sleeve tee with the smiling gingerbread man standing on a rolling pin happily proclaiming, _That's How We Roll_. Not to mention how cute he was in his dark frame glasses that he only wore when he was too tired to have his contacts in.

Bumping his shoulder again, Bucky quietly questioned, "Steve?"

Steve couldn't say anything though. Knowing that as soon as he opened his mouth, he'd start crying. Hating that they had just gotten there and were already so close to leaving. All the while, Steve would be stuck there with nothing to do about it.

"We better get to sleep," Sam yawned, tying off the end of Mandy's freshly French braided hair.

Yawning herself, Mandy teasingly wiggled her eyebrows, "Don't want Santa to skip our house."

 _Our house_ , Steve brought his legs to his chest and rested his chin on his knobby knees. _Wonder if this is how Bucky felt_ , Steve couldn't help but think, remembering all the tears he shed leaving Arkansas.

Standing, Sam stretched his arms above his head and helped Mandy stand from the rec room floor too. Gazing down at Becca, he bent and gently shook her shoulder, easing her awake. As the trio crossed the room to take up their sleep spots, Steve stood to turn the lights off on the half of the space where they had been. Everyone making sure to be quiet as they moved around, so they wouldn't wake the youngest members who were peacefully sleeping on the air mattress in their sleeping bags.

Only once Steve went to turn off the main light, did he realize that Bucky was nowhere to be seen. Figuring that Bucky was where he'd been sneaking off to for the past half-week, Steve shut the light off and went to follow.

"Hey, Steve," Sam tiredly started, causing Steve to pause at the staircase. Sincerely smiling, Sam quietly wished, "Merry Christmas."

That teased a small grin out of Steve and he repeated, "Merry Christmas," then headed down the staircase.

Just as Steve expected, the tree lights were on and Bucky was sitting on the floor in front of it, just gazing up at the decorated tree. It was the family tree that had handmade decorations from Steve's childhood that didn't stop being made once he grew out of elementary school. Of course, there were some from Eddie. Not nearly as many as what Steve had due to Eddie being so young. But Eddie had plenty of time to catch up.

Taking a seat beside Bucky, Steve bumped his shoulder, just to let him know that he was there. Grinning, Bucky slung his arm around Steve's shoulders. Steve took that as an open invitation to snuggle closer to him, and gladly accepted the kiss that Bucky dropped onto his forehead.

"Kinda thought you'd be more excited," Bucky quietly admitted with his lips still pressed to Steve's skin.

Steve shrugged. For a moment, he debated hiding the real reason why he was upset. Only, he didn't want to hide anything from Bucky. So, he nuzzled into Bucky's wiry frame and confessed, "You'll be going home soon."

Holding him a little closer, Bucky reassured, "It'll be okay. We've been through this before."

"I know," Steve grumbled. Tears started building in his eyes and he buried his face in his shoulder, "Just don't wanna say goodbye again."

"We didn't even say goodbye the first time," Bucky weakly chuckled, reminding Steve, "We'll still talk, just like we do now."

Shaking his head, Steve argued, "It's different now."

"True," Bucky agreed before attempting to tease again, "I'm even more annoying in person now that you've known me for longer."

Chest clenching, Steve shook his head again. Not in the mood for jokes. Not when he wouldn't be able to hold Bucky the way that he was in that moment. Not when he loved Bucky, and Bucky would be taking his heart with him when he left on Saturday.

Instead of saying all that, Steve repeated, "It's different now."

"It's different now," Bucky conceded, pressing a kiss to the top of Steve's head. Taking Steve's left hand in his, Bucky lifted his hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to Steve's palm. Quietly, Bucky confessed, "But it's the same too. I loved you back then like I love you now."

All at once, Steve's heart leapt into his throat and the tears finally spilled over. Bucky _loved_ him. _Bucky_ loved _him_. Overjoyed at the realization of Bucky's feelings, and relieved that his own feelings were returned by the object of his affection. But also heartbroken because Bucky was leaving on Saturday.

Trying to soothe Steve's sobs, Bucky rubbed his back and apologized, "I, I -- Stevie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just, I just… didn't want you to not know."

Steve hysterically laughed at that and corrected, "I'm not upset because you love me."

"You're not?" Bucky asked with his brows furrowed from behind his thick-lens glasses.

Shaking his head, Steve wiped at his own tears and reassured, "No, because I love you too."

Bucky relaxed in his relief, but still questioned, "You do?" Steve nodded and tried to stop himself from crying, and Bucky whispered, "Then why are you upset?"

"Because you're leaving again," Steve explained, sniffling and slumping back into Bucky's frame.

"Hey," Bucky went back to soothingly rubbing Steve's slender frame in his attempts to comfort him, "What did you tell me at the airport?"

"That it wasn't goodbye," Steve remembered, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

Slightly changing their positions, so Steve was nestled between his legs and could lean his back against Bucky's chest. Bucky wrapped his arms securely around him and promised, "No matter what, we'll make it work."

Steve vowed, "We'll make it work."


	13. Twelve

**Twelve:**

"WHAT?!" Eddie exclaimed in his sheer excitement as he tore through the wrapping paper instead of saving it the way he had with every other present. Of course, no one could blame him as the box revealed the Playdate Sven interactive toy. Shocked in his giddiness, Eddie looked up at Joseph, and asked, "This is mine?"

"Yeah," Joseph chuckled in his confirmation.

At that, Eddie hopped over the other presents and their wrappings scattered around the floor in his haste to hug his parents. Crashing into Sarah first and tightly holding her as he thanked her for the one big gift that he had wanted the most. Moving on to do the same to Joseph before moving on to hug Winifred. Making sure to hug Darlene too, causing her to momentarily put her professional camera down as she paused in photographing the cheery morning.

"Do you think he likes it?" Winifred quietly teased, earning a giggle from Sarah.

"Can I play with it now?" Eddie questioned, hopping in his spot beside the large box. Only to remember then that there was a friend his own age there too, and amending, "Can _we_ play with it?"

"Yeah," Tibby agreed, petting her hand over the box, "Can we?"

"Sure," Joseph agreed, pulling the box closer to himself and getting started on opening it up. Except, it wasn't as easy as simply opening the box and putting the batteries in. There were antlers that needed to be popped into place, and the same for the legs. Realizing that he probably should've done it the night before, Joseph sighed, but didn't complain.

As Tibby and Eddie surrounded Joseph as he started putting the three feet tall reindeer together, Winifred suggested, "Baby, why don't you two play with something else while you wait."

"Okay," Eddie slightly slumped, but then remembered that he had gotten other _Frozen_ toys. Perking, Eddie asked Tibby, "Wanna play pretend? You can even be Olaf!"

Feigning offense, Steve's jaw dropped open and he leaned over to tell Bucky, "He _never_ lets anyone be Olaf!"

"Guess he likes his future sister-in-law better," Sam jokingly stage-whispered, leaning over Bucky's other side.

Both boys blushing, Steve could only stare at Sam, slack jawed at his comment while Bucky glared at his brother. And although Steve's insecurities were trying to make him believe that Bucky wasn't in this for the long haul the way that he was, Steve knew better. Sure, they were young and people changed. But there wasn't enough self-doubt inside of Steve to entertain the idea that this wasn't something real.

Mandy good-humoredly scoffed and argued, "Please. If anyone's going to be his favorite sister-in-law, it's going to be --"

"Me," Becca finished, childishly sticking her tongue out at her sister.

"Hey," Mandy exclaimed, pushing Becca over, causing her to fall into her own pile of presents from the Rogers, and their own mothers. Then, to not be outdone by her sister, Mandy jumped at the opportunity to ask Eddie, "Can I play pretend too?"

"Sure," Eddie agreed with a shrug as he started heading up the stairs to his bedroom with Tibby and Mandy following.

"Santa's sleigh," Sam alternatively cursed as he sat there, watching them head upstairs. Standing, he called after them, "Hey, wait for me!"

As Steve watched Becca get up too, Bucky stood from beside him. Directing his attention from the group heading upstairs, to Bucky, Steve found him with his arm outstretched for him, wiggling his fingers. And although Steve still felt half-asleep since it was only going on seven in the morning, he didn't even have to think to take Bucky's hand and let him pull him off the floor.

Deciding that he could kill two birds with one stone, Steve bent over to gather the presents that he had received. Most of them being art supplies, although he was still grateful for the socks and sweaters that he had gotten. Steve was even more grateful though that the pack of underwear that he typically got every Christmas was nowhere to be found. Probably because Bucky was there and Sarah didn't want to embarrass him.

With the sketchbooks, acrylic paint set, and professional charcoals in his arms, he started heading for the stairs. When he was about to start up the steps, he paused, remembering his coffee. Turning though, Steve was relieved to find that Bucky had already taken the initiative to bring it.

At the landing, Steve passed Eddie's room on his way to his own. Peeking in through the open door, he found Tibby wearing the Olaf costume and drinking imaginary tea out of the _Frozen_ tea party set. Smiling, Steve paused, looking over how the back of the glittery pale blue Elsa dress was open as Sam was truly too big to be wearing the costume, but not caring as he donned the pale blonde wig as well.

"I think Sam's after my spot as Bestest Big Brother," Steve whispered to Bucky before finally crossing the space to his own room.

Dropping the gifts on his still unmade bed beside a sleeping Cat James, Steve realized that this was the first time that Bucky was in his room. Not just waiting in the doorway, but actually in his room. Quickly -- and as discreetly as possible -- Steve started kicking his discarded clothing from the previous days under his bed, knowing that he'll have to take care of them later.

Thankfully, Bucky wasn't paying attention to Steve feigning nonchalance as he tried to straighten his room. No, Bucky was busy looking at the art work on the walls. His gaze lingering on the ones that Steve drew from his visit in Arkansas. Especially one in particular.

"That's me," Bucky accused, looking back at Steve in absolute awestruck.

Steve's cheeks heated because he hadn't shown Bucky that one. The one from his memory alone. Sure, he probably made mistakes with the little details. But he made sure to get the adoration in Bucky's eyes right as they stared at him from behind his glasses. The same glasses that he wore now.

"I, uh," Bucky started, backing out of Steve's room. Steve went to follow, but Bucky held his hand up, causing Steve to pause in his spot as he explained, "I'll be right back."

For a moment, Steve just stood there. Wondering if he should take a seat. After all, he didn't know how long Bucky was going to take. He didn't know why Bucky had rushed out of his room to begin --

"Okay," Bucky panted, bumping into the doorframe, but seemingly not bothered. In his hand was another gift. Trying to catch his breath, Bucky crossed the room and took a seat on Steve's queen size bed.

Of course, realizing that he was sitting on Steve's bed, Bucky quickly shot back up. Bucky's cheeks were flaming red as he handed the rather small present to Steve with a, "Merry Christmas, Stevie."

"Thanks," Steve said, brows furrowing in his confusion. He hadn't been expecting more than one present. With shaky hands, Steve swiftly unwrapped the present and found a velvet box.

Eyes widening, Steve's gaze snapped up at Bucky, only for Bucky to quickly clarify, "It's not a ring."

Not sure if he was relieved or let down by that, Steve nodded and lifted the top. Just like Bucky said, it wasn't a ring. Instead, a shiny keychain was there. Lifting the gift from the velvet box, Steve looked over the stainless steel inch-size Arkansas state shape keychain with a heart ingrained in the spot where Bucky lived along with a dotted line heading North and the text, _my heart is in AR_. Joining the state on the keyring was a heart the size of a dime with the inscription, _I'll be back_.

"It's a promise," Bucky solidified, pulling out his own keychain from his gingerbread man pajama pants.

Taking a step closer to Steve, Bucky held the keyring by his keys and placed his keychain -- the state shape of New York -- above Steve's so the dotted line matched up, showing that it was a map to the ingrained heart location of where Steve lived. On Bucky's his claimed, _my heart is in NY_ , and on the heart, it read, _I'll be waiting_.

"Do you… do you, um," Bucky started, looking at Steve. Worrying his lower lip with his teeth, Bucky nervously questioned, "It's not too much, is it?"

Steve shook his head and reassured, "It's…" _Excellent. Wonderful. Marvelous. Magnificent. Sublime._ "It's perfect. I love it. I love you."

"I love you," Bucky replied, leaning in to kiss Steve as he promised, "I mean it. I'll be back."

Feeling absolutely weightless with the admission and the solidity of the vow, Steve confirmed, "I'll be waiting."


	14. Thirteen

**Thirteen:**

Turning around in the driver's seat, Steve asked, "Everyone buckled?"

Sam, Mandy, and Becca looked at each other. Finding that they were all wearing their seat belts, they nodded and Steve turned back to face the front. Glancing at Bucky in the passenger seat to make sure that he was buckled too. Playfully, Bucky rolled his eyes and dramatically pulled the belt away from his chest before letting it snap back into place over his gray peacoat.

Satisfied with everyone wearing their seat belts, Steve buckled himself and stuck his eye into the ignition. The shiny promise hanging nicely on his keychain beside the black voodoo doll that Natasha gave him when he got his license, and the Pusheen cat in a teacup that Eddie gave him on Valentine's Day.

A little nervous with his -- hopefully -- future family seeing him drive for the first time, Steve carefully pulled the black 2015 Chrysler Town & Country minivan out of the garage. Continuing all the way down the driveway and only pausing right before the street. Noting that no one was coming or going, Steve pulled all the way out and started down the quiet suburban street.

Taking the familiar route that Steve could probably navigate blindfolded and asleep, Steve reached up to turn on the radio. As Steve went to place his hand back on the steering wheel, Bucky held his own hand out. Silently offering to hold Steve's hand. And of course, Steve wasn't going to deny any opportunity to hold Bucky's hand.

So, lacing their fingers together, Steve relaxed in his seat and smiled out the windshield when Bucky brought his hand up to press a kiss to the back of his hand. All the while, Becca, Mandy, and Sam sang along with Mariah Carey's Christmas classic, _All I Want For Christmas Is You_. For a moment, a thought of what it would be like to be married to Bucky and be parents flashed through Steve's head.

Shocking Steve so entirely that he nearly missed his turn. Thankfully, Steve snapped out of his existential crisis and longing just in time to not have to wait for the next street and backtrack.

"Whoa, there Captain, let's not tip this ship," Sam called from the back, pausing in his theatrical solo, surprisingly hitting all the notes, even the high ones.

"Sorry," Steve apologized, wincing as he glanced in the rearview mirror to the other passengers in the van.

Sam waved Steve's concern off and flawlessly went back to his solo. Gaining a comforting hand squeeze from Bucky, Steve gave him a sideways glance and a small smile. Returning the squeeze and loving how a simple gesture could reassure him so much.

When the Romanoff family home came into view, Steve reluctantly let go of Bucky's hand as he pulled into the driveway. Parking in the spot closest to the house, Steve unbuckled his seat belt, but left the minivan running as he exited. And although Steve had been intending for going up to the front door by himself, Bucky tagged along.

Pausing at the front door, Steve knew that there were different rules at the Romanoff home. Mainly, that Steve never entered the house without being invited in first. As Steve rang the doorbell, he remembered the first time that he had just let himself in and had gotten a twenty minute lecture about how that was rude. Despite the fact that Natasha had told him to let himself in and had defended Steve long before he started tearing up at Ivan's authoritative rant.

From beside him on the front stoop, Bucky asked, "Are you sure that this is a good idea? I mean, Uncle Ivan made it perfectly clear that he wanted Nattie home for the holidays."

"I'm sure that Natasha is probably _this_ \--" Steve held his hand up to leave a minuscule space between his index finger and thumb and squinted at Bucky through it "-- close to murdering Mr. Romanoff."

"Fair enough," Bucky chuckled, affectionately bumping his shoulder against Steve's.

Steve stepped closer to Bucky, and just as he was about to wrap his arm around Steve, the door opened. Causing both boys to guiltily jump away from each other as they redirected their attention to the front door where Ivan was standing.

"Stephanie," Ivan greeted, causing Steve to grit his teeth.

Bucky's hands clenched into fists as he got straight to the point, " _Steve_ and I were wondering if Natasha could come out for a family gathering."

"I really don't know if that's a good idea, James," Ivan crossed his arms along his chest. "In fact, I think that you should all just get back to Joseph's."

"This is the first Christmas where we're in the same area to actually spend it together," Bucky debated a lot more coolly than Steve could've.

Uncrossing his arms and reaching out to close the door, Ivan argued, "As far as I knew, you didn't celebrate Christmas."

"Just because we don't celebrate it, doesn't mean that it doesn't exist," Bucky easily replied.

"Well, that's good to hear," Ivan condescendingly stated, "How about you go back to --"

"Hey!" Natasha greeted, pulling on her winter coat from just behind Ivan. Setting his harsh gaze on his daughter, Ivan looked like he was about to demand she go back upstairs to her room. Luckily for Steve and Bucky, Natasha had an unmatched, admirable moxie. Pushing past her father, she stepped past the boys and started for the Rogers' van. Over her shoulder, she called, "I'll be back later!"

For a moment, Ivan stood there speechless. Although Steve noted the difference to how he used to handle these types of instances, Steve wasn't going to stand around and wait for Ivan to come back to himself. Instead, he grabbed Bucky's hand and led the way back over to the driveway.

Climbing into the driver's seat with Bucky climbing into the passenger seat, Natasha questioned from the back, "Where are we going?"

Buckling his seat belt, Steve exchanged a knowing smirk with Bucky. Steve teased, "Been in the mood to check out some museums."

"Museums?" Natasha questioned.

"Sounds like a fun idea to me," Sam played along.

Natasha's brows furrowed. But she wasn't the only one. Mandy seemed just about as confused, and she was in on the idea. Seeing her confusion, Becca leaned closer to her and whispered something.

"Oh!" Mandy nodded, catching on and saying, "Yeah, I hear there are some really good museums in… the city…?"

"You broke me out of my house," Natasha looked at her cousins, "To take me to a museum?"

"I mean," Bucky added, turning around in the passenger seat as Steve drove towards the freeway. Fighting the grin that was slowly stretching across his face as he added, "There are some _national monuments_ that I've wanted to see."

As though a light bulb switched on, Natasha correctly assumed, "Oh sweet Satan Daddy, you guys are the best!"


	15. Fourteen

**Fourteen:**

Almost four hours later, Steve pulled into the assisted living parking lot of the senior living community, per the eldest Carter child, Dylan's, directions. It was a nice place. And even though Steve hadn't met a lot of the Carter family, he was glad that Sharon's Great Aunt Peggy had a warm, inviting place to call home.

Parking, Steve paused before exiting the van like the other passengers. Bucky noticed and he asked, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Steve reassured before worrying his lower lip, "Do you think we should've stopped somewhere and gotten something? Like flowers? Or something?"

That slow grin that Steve loved tugged at Bucky's lips as Bucky confessed, "I love how caring you are."

Still not used to hearing Bucky say the words, _I_ , _love_ , and _you_ , in the same sentence, Steve's heart stuttered. Especially when it was related to Bucky actually, genuinely loving an aspect of Steve that was practically ingrained into his DNA and that he hardly thought about at all. Knowing that Bucky loved him. Period.

Taking Steve's hand in his, Bucky regained his attention and asked, "You wanna go find a store or something? I mean, I'm not familiar with the area, but I can google it?"

Debating it for a moment, Steve shook his head and said, "No, it's okay. It's Christmas, and I wouldn't want to be that jerk that bothers someone who shouldn't have to be working today anyway."

"You sure?" Bucky questioned, brows furrowed as he held his phone in the hand that wasn't holding Steve's hand.

Resting his head on the headrest, Steve adoringly gazed at Bucky. And because he was emboldened, and could, he informed Bucky, "I love how caring _you_ are."

Blushing, Bucky playfully rolled his eyes and quickly pressed a kiss to Steve's temple before climbing out of the van. For a moment, Steve just sat there with a dopey grin on his face. Pressing his lips together to try and stop his smile from growing, Steve finally exited the vehicle as well. Thrilling at the way Bucky was waiting for him on the sidewalk while everyone else was cuddled just inside the lobby of the building.

Never wanting to pass up a moment to hold Bucky's hand, Steve greedily accepted his offer and laced their fingers together. Of course, when Bucky let go of his hand and opted to wrap an arm around his shoulders, Steve didn't protest like he could've. Instead, Steve happily cozied up to Bucky. And only briefly floated back down from Cloud 9 when he wondered if Bucky was his boyfriend.

Bucky had to be, right? After all, it wasn't every day that a boy was able to convince his entire family to travel states away just so he could spend the holidays with some boy that he liked. Some boy that he loved. It wasn't every day that a boy made a promise like the one that Bucky made. That was a promise of a future.

"Are you my boyfriend?" Steve asked before he could stop himself. Then, he realized what he had just spoken aloud and immediately, his eyes widened.

Luckily though, Bucky simply smiled at him, "I was hoping I was."

Steve bashfully hid his face in Bucky's broad shoulder as something else dawned on him. Tilting his face up to look at Bucky, he questioned, "I'm _your_ boyfriend?"

"Unless you don't wanna be," Bucky sincerely stated. Leaning forward, Bucky kissed Steve's forehead and with his lips still touching Steve's forehead, Bucky admitted, "But I really love having you as a boyfriend."

So happy that he could cry, Steve blinked through the tears and looked up at Bucky, "I've never been someone's boyfriend before."

All Bucky could do was smile down at Steve. Taking one of Steve's hand in his, he brought it up to his mouth and sweetly kissed Steve's fingers. The cherry on top of the Greatest Boyfriend Ever sundae, however, was when Bucky replied, "Must be a natural, because you're the best there is."

"As much as I love your love," Natasha called from the building, holding the door open for Steve and Bucky, "Can we find the girl I love, so I can have a Merry Christmas, too?"

That made Steve hop-to. As much as he wanted to be consumed whole by this new development, he was on a mission. After all, one of the things that Steve could do to pay back Natasha for everything she had done for him, was to help her out with her own love life. Especially since she had suffered through bad heteronormative dates before he came out, and had been the sole reason that Steve even had a boyfriend.

"Let's get your girl," Steve smirked, and held his hand out for Natasha, pulling her back inside of the building as he entered through the double doors.

"Thank you," Natasha exaggerated and happily laced her fingers with Steve's. All the while, leading the charge through the other set of double doors where they spotted the youngest Carter, Evan, who looked all too relieved to see them.

Ushering the group of teens past the reception desk, Evan quietly told the group, "It's a good thing you're here. This visit has been really hard."

Silently, Natasha squeezed Steve's hand before dropping it once they reached Great Aunt Peggy's apartment. Evan opened the door and let her in first. Immediately, the group gained Sharon's attention. They each put on their biggest and brightest smiles. Which quickly faded from their faces when Sharon broke down into a puddle of tears.

Natasha rushed into the open living room and dropped to her knees beside a crumpled Sharon. Not hesitating to wrap her arms around Sharon's sobbing frame and hold her close as she attempted to comfort the blonde. Even rocking Sharon back and forth as she smoothed her hair back away from her face and quietly soothed, "Shh. It's okay."

Sharon wrapped her arms around Natasha too, and cried, "I'm just so happy to see you."

Only then did the rest of the teens enter the assisted living apartment and wish the other Carter family members a Merry Christmas. Each one patting Sharon's back as they passed her to squeeze into a seat on the sofa. Not wanting to disturb anyone, but wanting to let them know that they cared.


	16. Fifteen

**Fifteen:**

Bucky was the one who suggested some fresh air. Sharon's mom, Amanda, was the one who encouraged it. Sharon's dad, Harrison, was the one who suggested that maybe the kids would feel better if they had a night away from the senior home. Steve was the one who drove himself and the other teens back to his house.

Every so often, Steve would glance into the rearview mirror back at Sharon and Natasha who sat in the far back of the van. But Sharon just quietly sat there, practically clinging to Natasha's arm. Not that Natasha was complaining. Instead, she just held Sharon closer as they stayed in their own little world while everyone else in the van loudly sang along with the radio.

From the passenger seat, Bucky reached over and took Steve's hand in his. Briefly, Steve glanced over to watch Bucky bring his hand up to his mouth and press a tender kiss to the back of it. As Steve redirected his attention back to the road, his heart stuttered when Bucky affectionately stroked his thumb over the back of Steve's hand. Comforted knowing that Bucky was there.

Thankfully, the four hour drive home passed by quicker than the drive there. As he pulled into his neighborhood, he made sure to wave at the neighbors that waved to him, and playfully honked the horn at the kids who were playing in their yards. With the weather unusually warm for this time of year, there unfortunately wasn't any snow, so no snowball wars raged and no snowmen armies were built.

Pulling into his driveway, Sharon spoke for the first time the entire drive, "I love your house."

Cutting the engine, Steve turned around to look back at the other blonde. Smiling, Steve said, "Thanks." Then, in hopes of lightening the mood, Steve joked, "We like it."

Luckily for Steve, it teased a smile out of Sharon. Easing everyone in the van, they climbed out feeling a little lighter than when they were driving. And Steve was grateful for that. Not wanting to sound too much like a Hallmark movie, but Steve wanted everyone to truly have a Merry Christmas.

Crossing in front of the van, Bucky held his hand out for Steve. Already missing this simple gesture for when Bucky will be gone. Again.

Steve didn't want to think about that. Not now. Not ever.

So, instead, Steve followed the others in through the garage. Steve had been hoping that they could sneak off to the rec room without being noticed. Especially since Sharon's face was puffy and blotchy from her crying. However, they were greeted by the parents.

They were drinking more of that kosher wine that the Barnes' brought with them and were giggling like teenagers as they cooked a mixture of traditional Hanukkah dishes and Joseph's passed down Christmas specialties.

As soon as they spotted Sharon though, their demeanors instantly switched. Immediately abandoning their jollities for concerned, so quickly that one could get whiplash.

"Sweetie?" Darlene cautiously approached with her hand outreached for Sharon.

Much like she had when first spotting Natasha, Sharon turned into Darlene's embrace and crumbled into a mess of tears. Burying her face into Darlene's shoulder and having no reservations about whether her snot would momentarily stain the cashmere blue top.

While Darlene rubbed Sharon's back, Sharon hiccupped, "She didn't remember me. She kept calling me, 'Amanda.'"

Softly, Evan attempted to help, "You _do_ look like Mom."

Trying to hold back his own tears, Joseph cleared his throat and offered, "Hot chocolate?"

"That sounds good," Winifred encouraged with an empathetic pat to his arm. Turning her gaze on the Carter boys, she asked, "Right? Hot chocolate sounds good?"

"Yeah," they answered in unison while hovering around their sister. Dylan perked up a little as he asked, "Have any candy canes?"

"Just the sweet tart ones," Steve answered, shrugging out of his coat, and collecting everyone else's as he headed towards the coat closet.

Sarah perked, "But we do have peppermint mocha coffee creamer!"

"That will definitely do," Dylan agreed with an enthusiastic nod.

"Good," Joseph grinned as he started getting the items ready.

Let it always be known that Joseph took hot chocolate very seriously. Especially when someone was upset. Steve, himself, had been handed many mugs of the perfectly handcrafted and warm-hearted hot cocoa in an offering to help him through an emotionally tough time. After finding out the truth about Sarah and their family. After broken hearts. After realizing that he was going through the wrong kind of puberty than he should've gone through. After coming out. Steve could always count on Joseph to make an addictive cup of steaming hot cocoa and let him cry on his shoulder.

"Maybe a movie would help too," Becca suggested, leaning on the railing that led up to the rec room.

Meekly, Sharon assented, "I could go for a Christmas movie."

"I'm sure we could find one," Natasha encouraged. Steve wasn't sure if she was aware of it or not, but she seemingly opened herself up, welcoming Sharon into her embrace whenever she was ready.

"Ya know," Sam started, sitting down on the staircase, "I could watch _Elf_."

"I love that movie!" Mandy exclaimed in her excitement as she slipped her phone into her pocket.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Bucky solidified, smiling at Steve.

Steve's cheeks instantly heated as his thoughts drifted from comforting his friend, to thoughts of cuddling with his boyfriend. And when Sharon finally moved away from Darlene, and into Natasha's embrace, the group finally headed up to the rec room.

Each one getting cozy on the large bean bag chairs and sectional sleeper sofa, Steve set up the movie and dimmed the lights. Noting that Bucky was saving him a spot caused Steve's heart to stutter in his chest. This was what Steve wanted for the rest of his life. And knowing that Bucky could want that too made Steve feel like it was a reality.

Taking his seat in between Bucky and Natasha, Steve felt right. It was an unusual feeling for Steve, but he felt like everything was finally falling into place. As he nuzzled into Bucky's wiry torso, Steve let out a sigh of relief and was pleasantly surprised to find that Bucky did too.

As the menu to the Christmas classic played, someone touched Steve's arm to gain his attention. Rolling over a bit and looking over Bucky's arm, Steve's gaze locked with Sharon. Weakly conjuring up a sincere smile, Sharon said, "Thanks. I needed all of this."

"Of course," Steve reassured, holding her hand for a moment before letting her bring her hand back to herself.

Turning back into Bucky, Steve was greeted with a loving kiss to his forehead. Feeling warm and cozy, Steve happily greeted Eddie and Tibby who climbed onto the sofa and squeezed their way into spots next to their older siblings. And when the parents joined with their mugs of hot chocolate, Steve knew that this could be their future. One big happy family.


	17. Epilogue

**Epilogue:**

Instead of showing another heartbreaking airport goodbye scene… I've decided to give an In Between ending that finishes off this holiday bonus story, but will also give a preview as to what the sequel, _Something Real_ , will be like. A bonus within a bonus, if you will. Bonus-inception. Wherein, I didn't feel it was necessary to end such a heartwarming fic so abruptly, but also felt as though what needed to be shown and told in that time frame was done.

So, without further ado, I give you:

**Five Years Later…**


	18. Epilogue: One

**Epilogue: One:**

Flittering around the apartment, Bucky attempted to clean up. Of course, this was the seventh time in the past twenty minutes that he had done so. And somehow, he kept carrying more and more back to their bedroom. Steve was sure that soon enough, he'd start bringing back the actual furniture since he was bound to run out of stuff to clean up.

Watching from his easel, Steve brought his mug of coffee up to his mouth and took a drink. Figuring that he'd be amused if Bucky's anxiety wasn't so obvious. By extension, causing Steve's own anxiety to take root and blossom. And Steve had enough to be anxious about today.

Just like every other trip he took into the bedroom, Bucky dropped a kiss onto Steve's forehead. Only, this time, Steve grabbed onto his wrist before he could rush back into the rest of their apartment for more cleaning. Setting his mug down, Steve tenderly tugged Bucky back towards himself. Guiding Bucky to stand in front of him while he sat on his stool, Steve reached up and soothingly stroked his thumb along that prominent jawline he adored so much. Thrilling at the way Bucky's stubble felt against his skin.

"Buck," Steve started. His deep voice raspy as he suggested, "You need to calm down." Rubbing his hands over Bucky's broad shoulders, Steve asked, "Why are you so anxious anyway? Our families have been here before."

Which was true. Although the pair had only been living together for roughly a year, the Rogers made it a point to be over at least once every two weeks. Natasha and Sharon had regular date nights with them, which Sam and his new girlfriend, Kristin, were recently invited to since their relationship was more serious and they now felt more comfortable in joining the happy couples. Sure, the Barnes' weren't able to visit as much as they wanted to, but that didn't mean that they hadn't been to the pairs' apartment at all.

In fact, with Tibby being the only one still living at the Barnes' Arkansas farm, Winifred and Darlene were in the midst of relocating to New York. After all, that was where their kids were. So, it just made since for them to move too.

As Steve dug his fingers into the knots in Bucky's neck, he reassured, "You have nothing to be anxious about."

"Right," Bucky nodded, trying to convince himself.

Letting his gaze travel from Steve's face, Bucky's cheeks started to redden as his eyes drank in Steve's pale, bare torso. Not that Steve could blame him. Ever since he received his top surgery three years, seven months, and nineteen days ago, Steve had been very comfortable in his own skin. Especially with each new tattoo that marked Steve's skin, making him feel like a work of art.

Of course, not all of his dysphoria was gone, but a lot of it had been alleviated with the surgeries that he had gotten. Each one allowing Steve to feel more and more like himself. Even if he was itching in anticipation to cover the phalloplasty scar on his right forearm. But until he could, Steve felt content within himself for possibly the first time in his whole life.

Didn't hurt that Steve's confidence was intoxicating, and Bucky seemingly couldn't get enough.

Now wasn't the time to be all hot and bothered though. Knowing that it would make Bucky laugh and ease his nerves, Steve dramatically wiggled his eyebrows. Just like he knew it would, a loud chuckle startled out of the handsome brunet.

Resting his forehead against Steve's, Bucky said, "Thanks. I needed that."

"Of course," Steve smiled and leaned in to press a sweet kiss to Bucky's lips.

Indulging in the kiss, Bucky slid his hand back to cup the back of Steve's head and tangle his fingers in the short blond strands. And although Steve knew that now really wasn't the time to get all worked up, he still allowed a bit of heat to seep into the gesture as he deepened the kiss. Tasting the dark roast coffee on Bucky's tongue, and considering cutting back on his brown sugar because maybe he liked his coffee with just a splash of milk instead. Heavily doubting it, but not denying that Bucky sure did make it tempting to switch his order.

In his giddiness and excitement for the day, Steve held Bucky just a little closer. Not wanting to wait another day for them to start --

A rapid succession of buzzes came from their intercom next to the front door of their apartment, causing the pair to reluctantly pull away from each other. Pressing a kiss to Steve's forehead, Bucky mournfully suggested, "You put a shirt on, I'll get the door."

As Bucky left their bedroom, Steve deadpanned, "Go team," and climbed off his stool.


	19. Epilogue: Two

**Epilogue: Two:**

Steve's planned, _Have a Happy Merry Joyous Christma-Kwanzakah_ , sweatshirt was on their bed, right underneath a snoozing, overweight Cat James. Even though Steve hated to wake the cat, he needed his red sweatshirt.

"Sorry," Steve winced and apologized to Cat James as he woke him up in his attempt to gather his shirt. Angrily, Cat James meowed and Steve appeased him by running his hand comfortingly along his black fur. Making sure to scratch that one spot that Cat James liked the most, underneath his white chin, before pulling the sweatshirt on over his head.

From the bedroom, Steve heard the front door open and heard Darlene question Bucky, "Are you growing a beard?"

"Oh, uh, no," Bucky awkwardly chuckled and admitted, "I just haven't felt like shaving."

Grabbing his mug of coffee, Steve left their bedroom and closed the door behind himself. Grinning as he found Winifred kissing Bucky's cheek like she did every time that they came to visit. This time though, when she pulled back, she playfully scrutinized Bucky and conceded, "I don't think beards are for you, dear."

"Which is why I usually shave," Bucky agreed and glanced over at Steve.

Hiding his smirk, Steve took a drink of his coffee. He was the one who tried to convince Bucky to grow out his facial hair. In Steve's defense, he still thought Bucky looked sexy no matter what he did or what he wore. Even if he did find himself being entirely too fond that Bucky was wearing his gray _Jolly AF_ holiday long sleeve tee. Aware that the reason he bought clothes that were slightly too large for his own slender frame was solely linked to the way his chest pleasantly clenched when he saw Bucky wearing something that he stole from his side of the closet.

"Well, don't just stand there," Darlene encouraged, waving Steve closer.

Setting his mug down on the TV stand, Steve crossed the short distance and happily embraced the woman that he'd like to call one day, his mother-in-law. Sure, Steve knew that Darlene and Winifred already considered him a part of their family, but it wasn't the same. At least, not to Steve. Not yet.

As the pair pulled back from their hug, Steve hugged Winifred. Tilting his head as Winifred studied his own well-groomed, close-cropped facial hair and adoring her all the more when she kissed his cheek too. Solidifying that they considered him a part of the family already.

"Hey, Tib," Steve grinned at the preteen, opening his arms to embrace her welcomingly.

Almost as tall as Steve now, and lanky due to her early stages of puberty, Tibby feigned annoyance. Steve still spotted the smirk that tugged at her lips though as she crossed the area to greet Steve with a large hug. One thing that he could always count on from Tibby, no matter how old she got or how moody she had become, were the all-encompassing hugs.

 _Must be a Barnes thing_ , Steve couldn't help but muse, giving Tibby's willowy frame a squeeze.

When the pair parted, Tibby finally gave a large toothy grin that showed off the dimples that she had inherited from Winifred. Her new braces catching the light just right and sparkling like the twinkle lights strung along the living room and bedroom of the apartment year-round. Steve couldn't help but think about how nice it was to see the girl he considered to be his younger sister actually allow a genuine smile to cross her face. After all, the school portrait that they had received had shown her with a whisper of her normally proud grin, showing just how insecure she had been after getting her braces.

Before Steve could comment on it though, another buzz came from the intercom and Steve decided to get it since he was the one closest. Assuming that it was more family, Steve instantly granted them entrance to the building and returned to the living room. Gladly accepting his mug from Bucky and silently replying with a sweet kiss as he took a seat on the arm of their couch next to the handsome brunet.

As Bucky loosely wrapped his arms around Steve's calf and rested his head on Steve's thigh, the door opened, and Eddie rushed into the apartment. His recent growth spurt causing him to trip over his gangly limbs in his haste. Running right past Steve and Bucky as he tackled Tibby in a hug.

"Oh, geez, Eddie, it's nice to see you too," Steve deadpanned, "Really feeling the love."

"He sees you all the time," Bucky playfully swatted at Steve as he defended the eleven year old.

"I just saw you _yesterday_ ," Eddie rolled his eyes and sat down on the floor as he removed his winter coat. Only to glare at Steve. Following in his older brother's theatrics, Eddie flopped onto the floor as he exclaimed, "Son of a nutcracker!"

"Edison Joseph!" Sarah reprimanded as she entered the apartment. Immediately shedding her winter jacket and boots.

Sitting back up, Eddie took off his shoes and pushed them aside as he clarified, "Tibby and I were going to wear matching sweaters, and _Steve ruined it_!"

"Steven, honestly," Joseph mockingly chastising Steve as he entered the apartment with arms full of wrapped presents and closed the door behind him with his foot.

Rolling his eyes, Steve looked down at his sweatshirt and took a drink of his coffee as he looked over at Eddie and Tibby. They were, in fact, wearing the same sweatshirts from last year. Never to be outdone by his kid brother, Steve theatrically groaned, slumping over onto Bucky before sitting upright.

Dropping a kiss to the top of Bucky's head, Steve stood from his spot on the arm of the sofa and crossed the room towards their bedroom. With his hand on the doorknob, the buzzer buzzed again, and he turned to get it, but Joseph waved him off as he was right by the door and got it for him. Thankful to not have to cross over to push a button, Steve opened the door to his shared bedroom with Eddie and Tibby on his heels.

"You guys gonna pick out a sweater for me?" Steve chuckled as he led them into the room and sat his mug of coffee down on the table beside his easel.

"If you want," Eddie shrugged while Tibby playfully declined, "Nah."

Instead of following Steve to his closet, the pair climbed onto his and Bucky's shared bed to love on a sleeping Cat James. _Of course_ , Steve couldn't help but good-humoredly scoff as he opened the closet doors on his side. Giving his hanging clothes a quick cursory glance, Steve grabbed the first red sweatshirt that caught his eye and switched his _Happy Merry Joyous Christma-Kwanzakah_ for _Santa's Favorite Ho_.

From his bed, Eddie warned, "Mom's not gonna like that."

Exaggerating a head tilt, Steve feigned arrogance as he teased, "I'm an adult."

"Oh-kay," Tibby giggled, still petting Cat James.


	20. Epilogue: Three

**Epilogue: Three:**

Re-entering into the open concept of his apartment, Steve was greeted with a bickering Mandy and Becca. Only catching bits and pieces of their conversation, but gathering that it was another debate about their schools. Probably wasn't the best idea for them to go to rival colleges.

Moving towards the kitchen for a refill, Steve fondly smiled at Kristin, who looked entirely overwhelmed by all the commotion. Steve had definitely been there before, and he warmly reassured, "It'll mellow out once the food is done."

Sighing in relief, Kristin smiled and asked, "That obvious that I'm an only child?"

"A little," Steve admitted, pouring himself some more coffee. Still holding the pot, he asked, "Would you like some?"

"God, yes," Kristin readily agreed.

Softly chuckling, Steve reached into the cupboard above the coffee maker. Pouring Kristin some, and leaving room for extras, Steve passed the mug to her. When she stood there awkwardly for a moment, Steve encouraged, "You can help yourself to whatever."

Without saying anything else, the two fixed their coffees to their liking. Steve adding three spoonfuls of brown sugar and Kristin adding some plain, white sugar. Once Steve was done stirring his coffee, he turned around and leaned against the counter, facing the living room. Making sure to smirk and wink at Bucky who was fondly watching him from the sofa.

As Kristin finished off stirring her own coffee, Sam silently came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. Startling her before she eventually relaxed in his grasp. Lovingly, Sam ducked his head and nuzzled his face in her neck as he whispered something to her. Even though Steve couldn't hear what Sam said, his imagination could go crazy from the blush that colored her cheeks.

Deciding to give them a moment to themselves, Steve pushed himself off the counter and headed for the living room. Only, the intercom buzzed again. Attempting to stop himself from rolling his eyes, Steve made a beeline for the front door.

Figuring that it was the only family member not there, Steve didn't buzz them into the building. Instead, Steve pressed the button beside it and teased, "Where's your key, Natasha?!"

"A beautiful blonde lost it," Natasha replied. Steve chuckled to himself, and Natasha demanded, "Now let us up! It's freezing out here!"

That time, he did allow himself to roll his eyes, but he pushed the button to allow them entrance into the building. Taking a drink of his coffee, he left the front door to return to his seat on the arm of the sofa beside Bucky. Easily earning a soothing rub down his leg from Bucky, who always knew how to comfort him.

On the floor, in front of the tree, Eddie and Tibby were perusing the wrapped gifts. Whispering conspiratorially among themselves as they did so. Playfully, Steve elbowed Bucky, to make sure that he saw their siblings hiding near the balcony doors, as they rifled through the presents on the other side of the tree. Fondly, Bucky smiled and nuzzled closer to Steve's body.

As Bucky rested his chin on Steve's thin thigh, the door opened. Natasha and Sharon rushed into the apartment, and quickly closed it behind them to keep the winter air out as though it had followed them through the corridors up to the fourth floor apartment. Immediately, Natasha handed the wrapped gifts in her arms to Steve, who had to hand his coffee off to Bucky.

In her typical numerous steps, Natasha removed her winter gear. Gloves off, jacket unzipped, she started to unwind the knitted scarf that Darlene gave her two Hanukkahs ago. Finally slipping her jacket off, she leaned in and kissed Steve's cheek, making sure to give his stubbly face a companionable slap.

It was the epitome of their friendship, and Steve couldn't help but chuckle at the gesture. Making sure to kiss her cheek too, he brought the presents over to the tree. Catching Eddie and Tibby in their exploration, the pair looked up guiltily. Playfully, Steve narrowed his eyes before winking at them.

"Hey," Steve called over his shoulder, "Can we open presents now that everyone is here?"

"Ooh," Sarah agreed, carrying a couple of bean bag chairs out of the laundry room. She caught Steve's eyes and excitedly continued, "I vote we open presents."

Going rigid, Steve prayed that she wouldn't say anything more. Praying that she wouldn't seem _too_ excited in the moment. Sure, it was the holidays, so of course Sarah was going to be joyous. But her jollities were sure to seem peculiar. And with that thought, Steve glanced over to Bucky.

Thankfully, Bucky seemed none the wiser, and Steve let out a deep breath of relief.

"I thought we were gonna eat," Sam questioned, leading Kristin over to the living room area of the open concept apartment.

"Yeah, I didn't eat breakfast because I was anticipating the mango barbeque brisket," Becca added.

Mandy conceded, "I was hoping to have _at least_ an entire plate full of Joseph's crock-pot stuffing."

Touched by that, Joseph brought his hand to his chest. Mainly because not one single Rogers member apart from himself liked his crock-pot stuffing. Steve couldn't help but smile at that, and chuckle when Sarah good-humoredly rolled her eyes.

The giddiness of opening presents filled inside Steve until he felt like a shaken soda can, and he repeated, "Can we open presents now?"

"Yeah, can we?" Bucky asked, seemingly equally as excited as Steve.

Maybe any other day, Steve would've been suspicious. But he was too eager in that moment to question why their guests were enthusiastic, as well. Steve was ready to do this. He had been waiting for five years now. Hell, he had been waiting from the moment he met Bucky.


	21. Epilogue: Four

**Epilogue: Four:**

With the presents given to the correct recipient, Steve was practically shaking in his zealousness. Or maybe it was the coffee. He did have a total of four cups, and it wasn't even noon. Sure, it was close to noon, but maybe he should've held off on all the caffeine and sugar. Especially with how his nerves were already in a tizzy.

When Steve was a kid, he remembered everyone opening presents one by one in a fairly orderly fashion accompanied with a ton of pictures. After Eddie was born and could open his own gifts, he took too long saving the wrapping paper, that Sarah and Joseph eventually let them open their gifts all at once. Even now, with the Barnes family joining them for the past five years, everyone ripped into their gifts with reckless abandonment. All except for Eddie who still collected the pretty paper that the gifts were wrapped in. Admittedly, it was one of the reasons that Steve chose pretty paper. Knowing that Eddie would appreciate it.

Moving his unwrapped gifts to a pile beside him on the floor, Steve sat there anxiously. All he had was one gift. One gift left and he could move on. Move on to give Bucky the gift of all gifts. The one that he had been planning for years. The one that he had saved up for, for months. The one that he had made sure to keep hidden from Bucky in his art stuff.

Unwrapping the gift in front of him, Steve carefully cut open the box, only to find another wrapped box. Brows furrowing, Steve unwrapped that one too and cut that one open. To find another wrapped box.

"What the fuck," Steve muttered under his breath.

Going through the process only to come up with _another_ wrapped box, Steve was growing more annoyed. This was ridiculous. Steve was supposed to quickly open this gift and move on to give Bucky his gift.

When Steve found _another_ wrapped box, Steve paused in his frustration and gave Bucky a pointed look. Bucky was actively trying not to laugh as he gave Steve a hopeful look and encouraged him to continue.

And since Steve wanted to be filled with bubbly love, he didn't make a single comment. Instead, he just ripped through the boxes until finally, he reached the gift. And his heart dropped into his stomach at the small velvet box. Looking at the velvet box, Steve's hands shook. He didn't want to open it. Mainly because he had had it all planned!

 _Please, let it be a keychain_ , Steve prayed as he swallowed the dry lump in his throat.

Not being able to look at his family around him, Steve kept his gaze glued to the soft box in his hands. Deciding that he better open it since he could feel everyone watching him, and would probably hear them if his pulse wasn't racing so harshly in his ears, Steve lifted the top.

Holding his breath as the box was opened, and instantly letting out a breath of relief when he found it empty. Which, Steve could admit, was a very odd thing to feel.

Brows furrowing, Steve looked beside him to Bucky. Steve's heart instantly stuttering in his chest as he found Bucky holding a simple yellow gold band in his hand. Gripped between his thumb and index finger, Bucky looked so hopeful, that the next thing that Steve said was exactly the wrong thing to say.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," Steve deadpanned, completely crushing Bucky.

Dropping his hand, Bucky turned his gaze to his lap. And no, no, no. That just wouldn't do. Quickly, Steve brought his hand to Bucky's face and tilted his face up, so he'd look at him. There were tears building in Bucky's steel blue eyes and a pang shot through Steve's heart knowing that he had ruined the moment.

"Hold on," Steve promised, standing from his spot. Rushing into their bedroom, Steve went over to his art supplies and dug into the back of the drawer. Retrieving the small velvet box, Steve hurried back into the living room.

Out of breath, Steve returned to his spot on the floor beside Bucky and held up the box. Opening it up to reveal the simple yellow gold band that he had picked out for Bucky. The very ring that Steve had been very sneaky with.

 _Guess I wasn't the only sneaky one_ , Steve thought as he worried his lower lip with his teeth.

Beaming, Bucky sniffled and held the ring back out to Steve as he suggested, "Trade ya."

"You better," Steve challenged as he took the ring from the cushioned box and held it out for Bucky.

Exchanging the rings, Bucky pulled Steve in to kiss him for all he was worth. Steve was only half-aware of how their loved ones cheered around them. Sure, Steve probably should've expected Bucky to be planning this. Bucky was the one who practically gave him a promise ring the first holiday they ever spent together. But there had still been that pointless doubt in the back of Steve's head that made him question himself.

Now, Steve knew that Bucky had wanted this just as much as he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! Well, until the sequel "Something Real"! ❤❤❤


End file.
